Learning to Date Myself: A Personal Revelation

As the oldest of four and an only child for 10 years, I understand how to be alone. That’s part of the reason why I often say that, "I don’t believe in boredom… There’s always something to do." If not, my imagination has always carried me through to a good time all by myself or a moment of reflection that allows me to create. With that said, I not only enjoy time alone, I thrive in it. 

My best writing/ideating often happens after hours when all the emails and Slacks of the day have died down and everyone is beginning to tuck themselves into bed. Meanwhile, I'm typing away in the throes of creativity. 

However, as we get older and the responsibilities of work and family start to demand more of your waking hours, carving out time for yourself becomes a task in and of itself. There just aren’t enough hours in the day so you have to grab minutes when and where you can. 

For the past few years those brief moments to self have been fleeting as they tend to arrive in the wee hours past midnight or in between personal and professional to-dos on the weekend where you’re just too tired or uninspired to do what you want vs. what you have to do. So Monday queries about, “How was your weekend?” are often just weekly reminders of how much of my wants went unachieved. 

This past weekend was a bit different. As part of my weekend #GirlDad duties I had to take the little one to a birthday party. Typically, this means playing chaperone while stressing over all the things I need to do as soon as I get back home, but this was a drop-off party, which meant I had two-and-a-half hours to myself. Sure, I was confined to the immediate area, but I was free to roam as my current role affords me more work/life/balance so there weren't any pressing Monday deadlines looming to overshadow the free time on the clock.  

So, for the first time in a long time, I was able to rediscover the beauty of slowing down. I took myself on a solo lunch date followed by a relaxing seat in a nearby park. No agenda, no rush. Just good food and the space to people watch. 

It might sound simple, but it felt like a luxury. A quiet rebellion against hustle culture. A reminder that presence is a powerful thing. 

Far too often I put others—from family and friends to co-workers and clients—first, leaving myself playing second fiddle. I know that's not a healthy way to live (if you can even call that "living") but the constant weight of responsibility makes it hard to say no or even remember how to flip the off switch.  

With another weekend on the horizon, I look forward to more days where my wants outweigh my needs and I wish the same for anyone reading this. Taking yourself on a solo date—whether it’s a walk, a coffee, or a full afternoon of doing nothing—is more than self-care. It’s self-connection. And we often forget how much we need that until we give ourselves the space to feel it.

To anyone in the thick of long workdays or questioning if there’s time to breathe: there is. And when you find it, even if it’s just one lazy Sunday, it’s worth everything.