'Let Them' is a Great Lesson for Letting Go of Things Beyond Your Control

Generally speaking, I'm not a fan of self-help books or works that purport to change your lives. Nothing in life is so simple as to distill change or improvement into one or two simple elements. I will concede that change for the better is often a result of small, successive steps that, in totality, lead to a better outcome or state.

With that as a backdrop, I approached The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About by Mel Robbins with a bit of skepticism. My friend, Heather K. Margolis Margolis, founder of the channel marketing firm Channel Maven , recommended this book for a good reason. We live in a world where people constantly criticize, complain, and sometimes backstab. We all experience this daily. Heather found the book enlightening and transformative.

In Let Them, Robbins – a life and career coach that grew to fame through her TED Talk "How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over" – advanced the Let Them Theory as a way of releasing yourself from the burden of living up to other people's expectations and reacting to their criticisms. If they're going to talk smack about you, let them. If they're going to exclude you, Let Them. If others are going to overlook your value, let them.

You can probably see the refrain forming. It's constant throughout Robbins' book. But it's not the only point. "Let Them" is counterbalanced by "Let Me" empowerment. Let me take the steps forward toward success. Let me come to terms with capabilities and limitations. Let me take responsibility for my actions. Let me initiate the next friendship, professional relationship, and business opportunity. Robbins is careful not to allow "Let Them" to become an excuse for resignation.

Let Them, as Heather promised, is enlightening and empowering. It provides a framework and simple devices that help free yourself from the burdens of external – often negative – influences. And Let Them isn't just about people; it's about the world's pressures. It's a recognition that things are outside your control and that you shouldn't allow yourself to be controlled by them. So, as Robbins says, let them be what they will be.

Let Them isn't necessarily a compelling read. Like many self-help books, Let Them gives away most of its lessons in the first few chapters. The book is more skimmable than immersive. Robbins wrote the book with her daughter. Many times, she references her family life and marriage as examples. At times, Let Them feels like Robbins is exorcising her issues rather than trying to convey a means for others to improve their thinking and lives.

Once upon a time, I collaborated with a publisher that wanted me to write a book on identity theft; a guide to helping people recognize the threat and how to protect themselves. After going through the development process, the publisher dropped the project. The reason: The outline and topic reveal that the ultimate work would be better as a magazine article than a book. And that's how I feel about Robbins' Let Them.

Let Them would have come across better as a long-form magazine article, a serial podcast (which Robbins does), or a presentation than a book. People like Robbins need books to support their mentoring engagements, so I understand why. However, more serious readers will find that they could have learned the valuable lessons of Let Them without sitting to read 200 pages.

I'm on a mission to read 50 books in 2025. This is book 7 in my journey. What books are you reading? What books should I read? Share your thoughts in the comments or message me. All thoughts and suggestions are welcomed.