Let's Talk: Mental Health

Let's Talk: Mental Health

We all exist in a state of well-being which is often referred to as mental health, and in the same way we have physical health playing an importance in our lives too. Our mental health affects the way we think, feel and behave, which is why it’s so important that we take the time to look after our mental health and wellbeing and look out for one another. Despite the global impact of mental health conditions, it's still hard to open up, do a self- disclosure and ask for help when you most need it. Luckily, in recent years, we've seen a shift in the way people think and how they view and talk about Mental Health. Conversations about depression, anxiety, addiction, and more have moved out from the private space into the public domain.

I'm speaking up because I want people to know it can happen to anybody and I don't want people who are experiencing it or have experienced it to feel embarrassed, ashamed or alone… “It’s okay”!

It can be hard to acknowledge or accept that you have a mental health problem; this is often the hardest step for someone. It can be hard to know what to do to reach out for support at work when you are experiencing a mental health problem.

Today I would like to share my story with all of you on mental health.

It was the beginning of 2020 and I knew that I was literally balancing on a cliff edge and that I could topple over any day. I lost my job in the month of Feb’20. Coming from the Leadership, I understood. I loved the people & the company that I worked with. I had enjoyed every single day of my job, helping my stakeholders to optimize and streamline their processes. And I have never been unemployed before. This news devastated me emotionally. Although I knew this eventuality was coming soon, but when it was announced and I faced it, I felt completely numb and shaken. I didn’t feel a connection to my job title such that it was a loss of my sense of self. It was more, “Well, what am I going to do now?” Or maybe it was because you have to say those words: “I’ve been laid off.” I never said those words before. I was mentally drained and exhausted thinking about reasons: why me, now what? How would I sustain my financial commitments? I remained in the deepest level of stress and pressure thinking how would I withstand this distressing news. I clearly remember those days when I could not sleep for nights crying and thinking, why me? YES, MEN CAN CRY TOO!!

Covid pandemic knocked at the world’s doors and it impacted every single industry across the board. People started losing jobs or faced massive salary cuts. I kept applying for new jobs, but this pandemic put most of the hiring at standstill. Everyone said, “It’s not the right time to lose job”. I started getting panic attacks that resulted in health deterioration and mental stress. In the initial days, I decided to not let my stress show in my personal space, moving life as-is, so that my family members did not feel tense or impacted. But, as days passed by, my tension started surfacing on my personality (both physically and mentally). Whereas, I tried to remain tranquil, did everything from meditating to reading Buddhist texts to calm my mind. At last, my stress level threshold burst and I realized I have to speak with someone. My first ‘talk’ was with my spouse who already knew what’s going on. I then decided to seek a professional help. I was given certain medications and exercises to control my emotions. Suddenly my whole world had shrunk and there was no pill to make it any better. It felt like being adrift with no idea of how to get back ashore. I wanted to go back to work, enjoy my morning coffee, prepare those project plans & presentations on process optimisations and be with my team!!

I worked upon to move away myself from negative thoughts to positive by taking deliberate steps. I used the lockdown period to learn my childhood hobby – learn guitar, complete one professional qualification certificate – Lean Six Sigma Black Belt, create a YouTube channel where I sing old Bollywood songs and enhance my skills in kitchen (YES, MEN SHOULD COOK TOO). Besides all this, I kept applying for jobs. 

Getting back to work:

I have transformed the way I live, so that I can live. I didn’t appreciate how all these things interact and how important it is build resilience. When I started to phase back it was a mixture of feeling terrified and like an outsider, an imposter. It was also exciting as I had wanted to get back to work for so long. I also had a sense of pride at having made it back.

Some key takeaways from my story:

·       SPEAK UP: It can help reduce isolation, and you will find you are rarely alone – you just don’t know it until you start talking. Talking is the first step in understanding what can be done to support someone. Indeed, if you are experiencing a short-lived period of anxiety, panic attacks or stress, talking with a colleague, a family member or friend may be all the help that is needed.

·       Remember, the thought of what other people’s response will be can often be worse than the reality, and it is often better to address any concerns and explore opportunities for support. Get other people to help and support you in making any changes – you might be surprised at what a difference this makes. The people we work with play a vital role in our everyday lives.

·       Take help: There are many confidential supports available that you can speak with in the organization. Talk to your manager, friends, family, if you need guidance and help.

·       Indulge in some hobby – declutter your mind by picking up anything that interests you. Enjoy life as this situation will not last forever.

You don’t have to be positive all the time. It’s perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared and anxious. Having feelings doesn’t make you a negative person. It makes you human.

Good mental health and wellbeing is a positive resource for individuals, communities and society. The promotion of good mental health must be a priority area for action by all public sector agencies. We need to widen awareness of mental health issues and to understand better what helps and undermines good mental health and promotes resilience in coping with life’s difficulties, as well as to enable access to quality services for those that need them.

“The experience I have had is that once you start talking about [experiencing a mental health struggle], you realize that actually you are part of quite a big club.” — Prince Harry

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

– Bernard M. Baruch