Letting Go is Not Giving Up—It’s Releasing What No Longer Serves You

POLARIS

Each month, we navigate a new stage of P-O-L-A-R-I-S methodology, my framework for reclaiming identity in times of change.

Last month, we explored Pause and Orient. This month, we step into the third stage: Let Go.

Transitions are happening all around us—some we initiate, others come crashing through uninvited. Whether you’re letting go of a company you once called home, a role you outgrew, a relationship that defined you, or a version of yourself that no longer fits—releasing can feel like grief, relief, and rebirth… all at once.

Being at the heart of complex decisions is no small thing. Especially when you've spent your whole life building your worth by holding it all.

But sometimes the deepest strength lies in releasing the grip.

Holding Tight To Sand

A dear friend—and the design mind behind this newsletter—once shared a story:

Her grandfather used to say, “The tighter you hold on to sand, the more it slips through your fingers. But if you relax your palm, it settles, and stays.” So much of what we cling to—titles, identities, control—is like sand. Gripping too hard becomes the thing that makes us lose it.

When I Let Go, I Found My People

In March, I hosted a salon for Athena Alliance leaders at my home. As executives filled the room, I felt it—that misfit energy rising. That voice whispering: You don’t belong here.

But instead of spiraling, I paused.

I practiced unblending (IFS language for gently separating from the part of you that's activated), and whispered:

“You built billions in ad revenue. You got promoted 7 times at Google. You belong. You are enough.”

When I let go of perfection and performance, connection rushed in. Kindness found its way to me.

Letting Go of “I Don’t Belong”

Letting go isn't just about jobs or people—it’s about old stories. Especially this one: “I have to prove my worth to stay.”

If you’ve always been the misfit—the only, the first, the different—then you’ve likely internalized a myth of scarcity:

That there’s only room for one like you. That fitting in means shrinking. That success must come at a cost.

But what if letting go of that myth is your next chapter of leadership?

🔹 IFS (Dick Schwartz): Ask the part of you that doesn’t belong, “What are you protecting me from?” Thank it. Let it rest.

🔹 Stan Tatkin: Build relationships based on safety, not performance. This starts with your relationship to self.

🔹 Mel Robbins’ Let Them: Let people walk away. Let them underestimate you. Let them miss the magic. And let them make space.

✨ Try this: Close your eyes and whisper to that protective part: “Thank you for getting me this far. You can rest now.”

April Showers Bring May Irises

I’m a Taurus, and my birthday is April 28—so this month, we celebrate all the beauty and stubborn growth that comes with spring. My favorite flower, the iris, represents wisdom, courage, and transformation. It blooms boldly, no matter the storm. So this month, ask yourself:

🌱 What are you ready to let go of so you can bloom? Consider releasing: Old company affiliations or toxic ties Control disguised as leadership The belief that your worth is tied to your output

Resources for the Let-Go Season

🎧 IFS-Inspired Daily Check-In – Body-Based Practice

📚 What Happened to You? (Book of the Month)

🛑 Scripts for Saying No Without Guilt

🌿 May Retreat with Me + Josephine (More to come!). If you’re interested please sign up here.

🎁 Birthday Month Gift As my gift to you, I’m offering 3 free coaching sessions this April. Book one for yourself—or forward this to someone who might need a reset. Schedule Here

You are not an imposter. You are not too much. You are not behind. You are ready—and you’re doing great.

With love and a hint of good rebellion,

Jonika