Life Is Not a Classroom

Not too long ago, my daughter had a leavers’ party. On the surface, it was just another school milestone. But for me, it was more of a nice reminder that time had passed, and my little girl was now stepping into a world of her own. When we arrived at the venue to pick her up after the party, what I witnessed struck a memory and got me reminiscing. 13-year-olds, crying, hugging, and looking red-faced as if something had just been taken away from them. They were all moving on to different senior schools and were certainly going to miss each other. Yes, life had happened to them!

Many years ago, I had gone through a similar experience. The details are faint now, but I’m certain about how I felt that day —it was fun and emotional, though perhaps not as tearful as what I witnessed at my daughter’s party. I remember how I felt about some of my favourite friends and the thoughts I had about where I wanted to be in the future. I came from a strong home, with my parents leaving nothing to chance when it came to shaping our mindset and behaviour. I assumed the same for most of my friends. We were all heading for big things.

Back then, I believed life was like a classroom. I thought we all did. In school, everything felt equal. We wore the same uniforms, endured the same teachers, and followed the same rules. It felt fair. The one who topped the class would top in life. The one who struggled would always struggle. We believed that effort always equalled reward. But time has proven to me that it has a way of rewriting our truths. Fast forward to today, and here’s the truth nobody warned us about: the boy who barely passed his subjects now owns a mansion. The girl who swept all the academic awards is unhappy with her career choices now. Quiet Johnny is now a board director of a large multinational company. And Peter, yes Peter, who struggled in math and science, is now a medical doctor!

Why did no one tell us that life isn’t a classroom? Why didn’t anyone say that academic excellence, while important, is only one piece of a much larger puzzle? Let’s talk about some of my biggest lessons about what shapes a person’s success in life.

Mindset: A person's mindset shapes how they see the world and respond to challenges. It determines what they pursue and what they give up on. It is often said that mindset either expands or limits one’s potential. A growth mindset says, “I can get better,” and pushes people to try, learn, and improve even when it’s hard. Take Peter, for example. Though he struggled with math and science in primary school, he believed he could do better. He worked hard, showing that effort rooted in belief can change his situation. In contrast, many people say, “I’m not good at this,” and stop trying. A growth mindset dares us to keep going, even when something doesn’t come easily. Science has shown the brain is malleable like clay, not concrete. With determination and effort, we can reshape how we think, what we believe, and what we become. As Descartes said, “I think, therefore I am.” 

Environment: Then comes environment. You are, in many ways, the product of your environment. But “environment” is not just where you live; it’s what you consume—physically, intellectually, and emotionally. It is what you read, watch, and scroll through and the people you surround yourself with. The question is, are your surroundings lifting you up, enabling your growth, or weighing you down? Do the people around you limit your vision or expand it? A small tweak in your environment can dramatically change everything—your thought process, your opportunities, your worldview, and your understanding of your purpose. Sometimes, a different room, a new friend, or a good book are the conscious choices you need to make to tweak your environment. Have you wondered for a moment why aspiring actors move to Los Angeles? To increase their chances of career success. The hard truth is that hard work and talent matter, but where you place yourself matters just as much. So maybe that same Johnny who once feared public speaking joined a debate club. Maybe he found a mentor who believed in him. And now he commands boardrooms.

Grit: For all I have experienced in my lifetime, grit is my most loved predictor of success. My mum had a simple way of putting it: “ɛdjuma din na ɛma ”yie”—hard work brings success. It wasn’t just a saying to her; it was a way of life. Success demands grit. Your ability to show up when no one is clapping, doing the work when the excitement has faded, and staying the course, not for a week or a month, but for the years until success arrives. Bob Brown sums it up nicely: “Behind every successful person, there are a lot of unsuccessful years.” Grit is about playing the long game. It’s not about brilliance; it’s about resilience. And for that reason, an average person with grit can outlast and outperform a brilliant person without it.

 Networking: And then there’s networking, the quiet, underrated power behind many success stories. Your network is your net worth, they say. It’s not just what you know, but who you know and, more importantly, who knows you for what you’re great at. One lesson life has taught me, especially from my travels in Europe, is that luck is rarely random: it’s social. Opportunities don’t float in the air; they move through people. Often, the lucky break someone gets is the result of a connection, someone they met, or someone who mentioned their name in a room they weren’t in. That’s why developing the skill of meaningful networking matters. I tell my kids: when you go out, be visible, talk about your “PIE”—your” passions, interests, and excellence—and follow up. Stay connected. A single conversation can open a door you didn’t even know existed. Some rise not because they are the best, but because they were in the right place at the right time and someone else helped them get there. That “someone else” comes from your network.

I believe it is important every young person is helped to understand that life does not grade us like exam scripts; it rolls the dice. Sometimes it rewards effort. Other times, it rewards audacity. And often, it simply rewards being present, prepared, and ready! Academic excellence matters: it opens doors and creates chances. But it is not the only path to success and certainly not the only measure of potential. Life has many rooms, and your class was just one of them.

In the end, the truest predictor of success is the will to succeed and the determination to keep going until you do. The bigger picture is not just chasing success but choosing to create and enjoy it on your own terms. If you didn't shine in class, shine somewhere else. So, whatever your grades, your background, or your starting point—choose to learn, to grow, to become.

This life isn't a classroom. It's the real test. And in this test, we get to rewrite the questions and redefine the answers—every single day of our lives.