Is Life in the USA Really Worth It? The 5% Who Return Tell a Different Story. Paradox: Neither path guarantees happiness

As an Indian immigrant living in the USA, I’ve often found myself asking — Is settling here truly worth it?

Statistics tell me that 95% of Indian immigrants choose to settle in the US while only 5% return to India. This made me wonder: Are the 95% making the right decision, or is the 5% making the mistake?

When I asked friends from the 95% category, their answers were vague. It felt like most people were simply following the crowd — getting too entrenched to go back later. So, I decided to dig deeper.

I spoke to NRIs I knew personally — people who would be honest with me. The conversations were casual, not formal surveys, but revealing. I focused on those in science, technology, and some in business. I rated their life across earnings, savings, stress, family relationships, and happiness on a scale of 0–10 — across different ages.

The result? A clear four-phase life cycle emerged: Transform, Settle, Growth, and Suffer.

1. Transform Phase (21–28 years)

This is the excitement stage. Visa approved, dreams in sight, parents proud, relatives talking about your “big achievement.” Life in America feels glamorous — great infrastructure, comfortable living, fun with friends, vacations, shopping. Green card process starts.

Happiness: High

Relationships: Strong

Reality Check: Nobody thinks about life after 40 or 50 here.

2. Settle Phase (28–40 years)

Marriage. Kids. Dual incomes. Bigger cars. Townhome. Green card secured. But now expenses rise, stress builds. Trips to India reveal aging parents who are lonely. You start thinking, “Maybe I won’t fit back in India… and it won’t suit the kids.”

Happiness: Declines

Relationships: Begin to weaken

3. Growth Phase (40–50 years)

Career peaks. High income. Investments. Bigger homes. Kids in school. Vacations return. But parents’ health worsens, and visits become harder. You realize some friends in India have actually done better financially.

Happiness: Lower still, despite financial success

Relationships: Continue fading

4. Suffer Phase (50+ years)

Kids leave for college and work elsewhere. House feels empty. Parents are gone or too frail. Returning to India feels impossible — life is too set here, kids are settled. You retire at 65 with Social Security and healthcare benefits, but relationships are nearly gone.

Common Reflection: “We got everything we wanted… but lost all relationships.”

Life in the US for an NRI starts bright and full of promise, but for many, happiness declines after the early years. Professional and material success often comes at the cost of family ties and emotional well-being.

From the outside, every NRI looks happy. But inside, most have a story they rarely tell.

The 5% Who Return — And Why the Story Isn’t as Perfect as It Looks

When we talk about Indians in the USA, the spotlight almost always stays on the 95% who choose to settle there. But what about the 5% who actually return to India?

We often paint them as the “brave few” — the ones who dared to leave behind the comfort, stability, and prestige of life in America for a life back home. We imagine them living happier, closer to family, immersed in their culture again.

The truth is far messier.

Why People Return

The decision to return is rarely sudden. It often comes after years of small tugs on the heart:

• Aging parents who need care.
• Kids who need to understand their roots.
• A desire to contribute to India’s growth story.
• The realization that material success abroad hasn’t brought emotional fulfillment.

At first, the return feels like the right move. There’s a honeymoon phase — being surrounded by family, reconnecting with old friends, enjoying the food, festivals, and familiar chaos.

But after the glow fades, the cracks start to appear.

The Struggles of the 5%

1. Reintegrating Is Harder Than Expected India has changed, and so have they. Their work style, pace of life, and expectations no longer match the system they left behind.

2. Professional Setbacks Many find it hard to get jobs that match their pay, autonomy, or respect from the US. Entrepreneurial ventures come with red tape, slower execution, and a different business culture.

3. Cultural Adjustment for Kids Children, especially teenagers, struggle to adapt to Indian schooling, social life, and the shift in personal freedoms.

4. Relationship Gaps Remain While they’re closer to family geographically, years of physical absence can’t be undone overnight. Sometimes, the bond feels more distant than before.

The Paradox

The 95% who stay in the US often say, “We got everything, but lost relationships.” The 5% who return sometimes say, “We got the relationships back, but lost everything else we built.”

Both groups wrestle with the same question in different forms: Was it worth it?

For many, the answer is bittersweet.

Why This Matters

This isn’t about choosing one country over the other. It’s about realizing that neither path guarantees happiness.

• The US offers professional growth, comfort, and stability — but often at the cost of emotional connection and cultural belonging.
• India offers cultural familiarity, family presence, and emotional grounding — but often at the cost of professional momentum and lifestyle comforts.

The real challenge isn’t the move itself. It’s how you design your life to protect what matters most to you — wherever you are.

The Bridge We Need

This is exactly why communities like B2I.club exist — not to glorify returning or settling, but to help people navigate these trade-offs before they make life-altering choices.

Because in the end, it’s not about being in the 95% or the 5%. It’s about making sure you don’t wake up one day in either group thinking, “I wish I had thought this through.”