Loyalty doesn’t last. Relationships do.

Brands talk a lot about loyalty. But most of the time, loyalty is just compensation.

You reward people who were already coming. You give points to customers who don’t need them. You hand out rewards in the hope that people will stay around. In reality, you’re buying them.

That’s why loyalty feels heavy. It comes with debt — points and rewards sitting on the balance sheet, eating into margins until they are finally redeemed. It comes with the cost of managing databases, apps, tiers, and endless mechanics that don’t create much new value. It’s a lasting debt that slows growth instead of fueling it.

I’ve always felt that loyalty programs also come with a deeper problem: they are built on an obsession with identification. To keep them alive, brands collect personal data, profile people, target and retarget until the relationship feels less like trust and more like control. But in today’s world, that cannot last. Regulations are stricter. Consumers are more aware. Trust is harder to win and easier to lose.

The truth is simple: people aren’t loyal. They act when there is something they want, when the timing is right, when they feel value in that moment. Loyalty programs are too often an attempt not to face that reality — a way to hold on to old habits rather than respond to new behaviors.

So why do brands cling to loyalty? I believe it’s because it postpones the hard work. It lets you avoid facing new behaviors. It lets you reward yesterday’s customers rather than earn tomorrow’s. It pays to keep people around instead of fixing gaps in the offer. Loyalty becomes resistance dressed as strategy.

The alternative isn’t a better program. It’s a better relationship.

A real relationship is three things:

• Balanced — value exchanged fairly, not bribed.

• Empathetic — timing and context matter more than accumulation.

• Trust-based — no coercion, no unnecessary personal data, no hidden debt.

Relationships are lighter. They’re easier to start, easier to maintain, and they don’t punish silence. They leave room for desire — so when a customer actually wants something, the path is short and clean.

This is why we use the wallet differently.

Not as a digital punch card. Not as a new place to count points. We use passes to crystallize a relationship without demanding identification, without creating debt, without noise.

One touch, and the brand is present in the customer’s pocket — no app, no form, no login. From there, the pass lives seamlessly and updates only when there’s real value: a limited capsule, a seasonal drop, a permanent benefit, a timely offer, a store nearby. It’s not about “capturing the moment.” It’s about being ready for it — so when desire appears, the path is already open. When nothing is worth saying, nothing is pushed. No timers. No expiry threats. No blackmail.

Used this way, the wallet becomes the most powerful ecosystem, not a program. Media, influencers, search, QR, in-store — every channel hands the same simple doorway to the same living connection. It works without knowing who a person is; it proves its worth by what happens next. If someone wants to deepen the relationship later, great. Identification becomes a choice, not a toll.

This shift changes how a brand grows:

• You stop compensating for gaps and start closing them.

• You stop counting liabilities and start creating moments.

• You stop resisting new behaviors and start moving with them.

Loyalty pays people to look loyal. Relationships give people a reason to return.

And here is what I believe matters most: sustainable growth. Loyalty programs don’t offer that — they create debt, inertia, and resistance. Relationships, built on empathy, balance, and trust, do. They are lighter, more respectful, and infinitely more sustainable.