Making difficult conversations easier is a five step process

The foundation of Personnel work is frequently difficult conversations, which may be why we are frequently viewed as the bad guys. However, in fact, the difficult discussions we have on our clients' behalf center on resolving a issue that is having an effect on the company, its employees, and the person who is being toughed up. There are strategies for handling challenging discussions that benefit both parties.

1. The key is planning.

No matter the subject, you will fail if you don't get ready for a difficult conversation. Imagine having to start a conversation about an employee's poor hygiene; if you don't get ready, you'll just "um" and "ah" your way through it, which will make it awkwarder than it needs to be. You likely won't get a good result because the recipient is likely to lose interest in working for you or be so humiliated that they are unable to understand what you're saying.

When communicating with someone who is performing poorly or behaving inappropriately, it's important to be aware of all the facts you have and know how to communicate in a way that is lawful and fair. If you don't have all the information you need, it might be best to wait for an informal conversation instead of jumping into a difficult conversation too soon. In some cases, a more formal approach may be necessary...Avoid making hasty decisions before fully understanding the situation!

2. Adjust Your Mindset

For the purposes of this blog, we are calling challenging exchanges as “difficult conversations” but we need to think about the impact of this type of labelling. If you switch things up and remind yourself that you are looking to provide constructive feedback or that you are simply having a meeting that’s only objective is to positively improve the workplace no matter the outcome, you will likely feel more confident as you prepare. This isn’t about pretending that the subject matter of the conversation is light and fluffy it’s about considering the end game and looking to improve a tricky or damaging situation or behaviour to achieve a successful outcome for everyone.

3. Honesty Issues, With a Part of Respect

A tough talk requires integrity– anything else is a waste of time as you didn't resolve the problem if you don't place your cards on the table. However, you don't need to become violent. Calling someone aside and saying "You stink and everyone is complaining. Here's some shampoo, today use it "certainly gets a message across, but we would claim it's the wrong one. Instead, taking one away and letting them know that what you have to claim will likely be uncomfortable for you both, and next discussing the chemical problem allows the sender to discover what you are saying and then respond. You may discover they have a health problem that is causing the problem, or it may well be that they grew up in a home or lifestyle that did not allow perfume. Either way, you open the door to a discussion that minimises the shame and works towards a solution.

If you have an employee who has acted improperly, it is important to be clear about the problem and lay out the facts as you know them. You also need to be clear about any process you will be following in terms of management of the issue and the associated timeframes. Anger or feelings of hurt are not appropriate when addressing an employee’s behaviour. A considered and thoughtful approach does not mean that you are a ‘soft touch’, it simply means that you are prepared and impartial. Despite your own feelings about the situation, it is important to stick to the facts and take appropriate action based on what you know.

You might also need to adhere to procedural fairness protocols, which include, among other things, plainly outlining the concerns or allegations and giving the person the chance to respond, depending on the best strategy you've chosen.

You need to be open to hearing the other side of the story because there might be more to it, such as a developing individual theatre that has affected behavior or unresolved workplace issues. Just be aware that there might be no explanation and that the behavior may simply be toxic, so you should be prepared to handle it properly and calmly.

If an employee's performance is falling short of expectations, sugarcoating the problems or cracks won't give them the knowledge and understanding of where they are or what they should do to close them. You must be able to identify areas where the individual is failing to fulfill the demands of the position or the company, and you must develop a strategy to close the gap. You can do this in a cool, competent, and correct manner, but you cannot NOT do it. More than your business's effects or productivity issues, the impact of allowing regular poor performance has an impact on the team as a whole.

Keep in mind that being KIND is being Obvious.

 4. Privacy Matters

Dealing with a challenging situation is challenging for everyone involved, so it should be handled with care and professionalism. Create the conversation's location and make sure it is private so that no one can overhear you and you won't be interrupted. Everyone wants to believe that they will have the chance to show themselves yet in their darkest moments, but if they think that everyone else knows, it becomes much harder to do so. Keep the conversation and its contents to only those who need to know, and give your employee the space and chance to change and improve. Shame and embarrassment may be barriers to making positive changes.

5. Listen to Hear

The HR Staff and Stuff staff frequently use this expression, but when it comes to effective communication, paying attention to what they have to say is crucial. When you listen intently, you never, ever understand what you'll discover. You can learn more about what is happening and why there has been a rapid decline in performance by listening in on your employee's severe personal drama that is causing the problem at work. Alternately, you may learn more details about the situation that could lead to more severe repercussions for this worker. If you pause for a moment and give people the opportunity to talk, you'll be amazed by what they say.

Keep in mind that when you enter a "difficult conversation," you may already know what you need to say, but you must make room for your employee to speak. Their side of the story might not ultimately alter the outcome or absolve them of blame for their bad behavior, but it might offer some relief when it comes to figuring out how to proceed and/ or an outcome.

The hardest part of being a company president is undoubtedly managing employees and their behavior, but it can also be the most enjoyable. The way you respond to a difficult or complex dialogue will affect how it is received. As always, our staff of HR professionals is available by phone to assist and mentor you through these difficulties.