"Manning up" - Starting a Mental Health Journey
Just tough it out.
It's usually the first thing we try when we get injured. But when that's not enough, then we seek help. We see a doctor, we go to physiotherapy, etc.
When we have car trouble, taking the car to a mechanic is just common sense. When something is wrong with our pet, we don't hesitate to go see a vet.
So why do so many of us find it difficult to do anything beyond "toughing it out" when it comes to mental health?
On the theme of Movember and helping to end the stigma around men's mental health, let's take a look at how you can take the next step, and seek help for the things that bother you instead of just living with them.
(Note: I am not a mental health professional, and I do not claim to be an expert in the field. But I believe that the more we talk about mental health, the better we become at fighting the stigma that surrounds it. And those conversations need to start somewhere - so why not here!)
What do you want to change?
The first step of any therapy journey is acknowledging that there is something you want to change, or fix, or improve about your mental health. This could be anything from dealing with a traumatic incident, to wanting to address chronic anxiety or depression, or even simply something about your behaviour that bothers you.
Most individuals seeking therapy don't appear to be have anything "wrong" with them. It's important to recognize that being functional day to day - going to work, paying your bills, and so on - doesn't mean that you would not benefit from improving your mental health.
What help do you need?
In very broad terms, there are two different types of mental health assistance that you can seek out:
- Psychiatry deals with mental health from a physician's point of view. Psychiatrists are medical doctors that can prescribe medication.
- Psychotherapy encompasses a wide variety of counselling and therapy techniques. Psychotherapists come from differing educational backgrounds and use varying titles, but typically do not prescribe medication.
Your mental health journey may involve one or both of these areas. For the purposes of this guide, the focus will be on Psychotherapy. For access and referrals to a Psychiatrist, speak to your family doctor.
How do you find a therapist?
Searching online can help identify professionals in your area. While not an exhaustive list, Psychology Today also has a large searchable database of mental health professionals:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/
Pay particular attention to the treatment approach that a therapist uses, as that plays a part in how a session would unfold. Some talk more, others mostly listen. Some focus on spirituality, while others avoid the subject entirely. It's important to figure out what style of therapy suits you best.
The other item to consider is your benefits plan, if you have one. You may be restricted to therapists with certain qualifications - for example, therapists that are Registered Social Workers may be permitted under some plans, but not others. Be sure that any therapists that you are exploring qualify under your benefits package if you plan to use it.
How do you find the "right" therapist?
Finding the right therapist can be like dating - don't assume the first person you meet with will be "the one." You may need to speak to a number of therapists before you find the right one for you. Fortunately, many therapists offer a free phone assessment, or a first session at a reduced price.
When you contact a prospective therapist, include the following information:
- What you are hoping to address in therapy
- The circumstances that lead you to seek therapy
- What you want to get out of the therapy process
The last point is key. Some people will just want someone to listen to them and understand, while others will be looking for "homework" or practical solutions to move forward. Regardless of what your needs are, it is important to be confident that your therapist can help you achieve them - and any prospective therapist should be able to explain how they will do that through their treatment approach. Don't be afraid to ask questions before your first full session, and if you still aren't confident, then perhaps it means you should try someone else.
Improving your mental health, like addressing your physical ailments, can lead to a better life. There is no real reason why every moment of every day cannot be fulfilling in some way. So give it a try! You'll be bettering yourself, and helping to end the stigma surrounding mental health!