Men's Mental Health

A moving and insightful discussion on men’s mental health

Last week I attended a remarkable discussion on men's mental health hosted by the Pure Land Foundation.  My brother committed suicide when he was a young man and so the discussion was especially poignant for me.  An expert panel explored in deeply moving ways the subjects around men’s mental health, saying that so many of the issues still had a considerable stigma attached, but acknowledging that the situation was improving. 

The evening was inspired by startling and little-discussed statistics about men’s mental health which include: 

• Suicide is the biggest cause of death for men under 35 
• Over three quarters of people who kill themselves are men 
• 87% of rough sleepers are men 
• Men are nearly three times more likely than women to become alcohol dependent or to report frequent drug use 
• 72% of male prisoners suffer from two or more mental disorders and men make up 95% of the prison population 
• Men report significantly lower life satisfaction than women in the Government’s well-being survey 
• 73% of adults who ‘go missing’ are men

  The panel was moderated by Good Morning Britain’s Sean Fletcher and the other guests were Paul Farmer, the CEO of MIND, Joel Beckman, General Manager of the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), Jon Salmon, who lost his father to suicide and has been affected by mental illness, and Dr Steve Young from the US Embassy.  

The room was packed, with many in the audience standing throughout 90 minutes of insightful conversation. In moving exchanges, Sean Fletcher disclosed that his son has been hospitalised for the past 6 months with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and Jon Salmon described how the decision to speak openly and publicly about his mental health experiences had led to feelings of liberation and vulnerability. All his friends, and even his wife, he said, had expressed surprise as they were not aware of his suffering. 

The panel all agreed that mental health had become a little easier to talk about in the public domain. Vocal male role models, events like the Pure Land Series, and reports in the mainstream media had helped, but the stigma remained. They all agreed that it was generally the fear of judgment that prevented men from seeking help before it is too late. 

Collectively the panel members asked themselves and the audience why it is that men suffer quietly.

In sharing that both of their fathers had committed suicide, Joel Beckman and Jon Salmon had the courage to discuss the effects of suicide on the families and friends left behind; the bewilderment, grief, responsibility and questioning was shared by many of the audience, who contributed their own stories of loss and mental suffering, and an exploration of what might have been done differently to help those in pain. Many present revealed family histories of depression or suicide, showing that mental health has a far greater impact on our lives than many recognise.

Asked therefore for advice on what we should say or do if we suspect someone we know is suffering from a mental health issue, the panel’s suggestions included:

• Paying attention to any unusual behaviour as this can indicate a change in emotional wellness. Paul suggested the audience visit MIND’s website for further details. If you notice these changes in a loved one, ask how they are and if they need to talk. 
• Trust is an important issue. Building trust is the key for friends and family to open up. Dr Young pointed out: “The door is open, they [the sufferer] may not choose to walk through it that day, but they know it is there.”
• Don’t be afraid of not being an expert. As Dr Young said: “We are all qualified to initiate a conversation.” Sending a text was highlighted as a less intrusive way of letting someone know that you are thinking of them. 

One fact to note for vigilant friends and family: the likelihood of mental health problems arising in men is highest in the 55 to 64-year-old age bracket, according to Paul Farmer. 

You can find out more about Heads Together campaign here.