Mentorship Isn’t a Program. It’s a Moment.

I was about a quarter of the way up Morgan Territory Road (if you know, you know), my legs were ready to explode and every part of me was questioning my life choices. It was just about then that I heard Dan call out, “Hey! Hang on!” 

He pedaled up beside me and said, “If you need to stop, stop. If you need to walk, walk. The goal is to finish.”

That was it. No speech. No “you got this, Champ!” Dan had been down this brutal road before, literally and figuratively. He knew the challenge I was facing, and he was doing what he could to prepare me for the most difficult climb of my short cycling career.

That’s when it dawned on me: This is mentorship. There was no formal request from me. There was no LinkedIn announcement. It was just a more experienced fellow traveller showing up, sharing what they know, and keeping me moving when every part of me wanted to give up.

I Came for the Miles but Found Something Better

When I signed up for the AIDS/LifeCycle, a 545-mile bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles, I expected pain, self-discipline, and some killer quads. What I didn’t expect was to stumble into a community where mentorship happens in the smallest, most human ways.

When I arrived for my first ride with the Orinda practice ride group, I was nervous. I could feel that familiar social anxiety creeping in. I just KNEW I was in over my head, and I wouldn’t fit in. 

What if I’m too slow?

What about the hills?

Do I have the right bike?

Am I pedaling correctly?

I’d ridden 20 miles before, so the one thing I knew was that I could finish that day’s ride. But that’s all I knew at the time. Thankfully, this was a no-drop training ride, which means no one gets left behind. 

Within weeks, I was learning to ride more efficiently, covering longer distances and more challenging hills. Through each of those rides, I was being carried forward by people who didn’t even realize the impact they were having.

My Accidental Mentors

There’s Hugo, who shattered my obsession with hitting the “perfect cadence” by telling me, “It’s a ride, not a race, man. Find your own rhythm.” 

There’s Judy, whose voice now lives rent-free in my head. I can hear her behind me yelling, “Keep pedaling” every time I’m tempted to coast downhill and forget the next climb is coming.

Dan, the steady presence on that brutal Morgan Territory Road climb, who set my expectations and reminded me that resting isn’t weakness; it’s strategy.

Dean, who quietly makes life easier by showing up early to give me a ride when public transit doesn’t, and who distracts me from the difficult task ahead of me with corny jokes. 

And Maria, the cheerleader I didn’t know I needed, always pointing out how far I’ve come when I’m too focused on how far I have to go.

Then there’s Mike, the calm center of every ride. He's our leader who somehow balances safety briefings, route planning, and keeping spirits high. He’s proof that real leadership isn’t loud; it’s steady, prepared, and always watching out for the group.

(Okay, sometimes he IS loud.) 

None of them pulled me aside and said, “Let me mentor you.” They just did it. They did it through small moments, consistency, and care.

Now It’s Your Turn

Mentorship isn’t reserved for executives or formal programs. It’s not about being assigned to someone. It’s about paying attention, sharing what you know, and walking (or riding) beside someone who’s figuring it out.

If you want to be that person – and trust me, the world needs more of them – here’s how:

• Notice the Struggle: If you see someone wrestling with something you’ve already conquered, say something. A simple “Here’s what helped me” can change everything.
• Give Permission: Dan gave me permission to rest and reset. At that moment, his words were more powerful than any motivational speech. Sometimes people just need to hear that it’s okay not to be perfect.
• Stick Around: Mentorship isn’t a one-off comment. It’s showing up. Being the person who checks in, offers a ride, or shares a tip over and over.
• Remind Them They’re Winning: Many of us are terrible at recognizing our own progress. Be like Maria, and point it out.
• Lead Without the Ego: You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to care enough to share what you do know.

545 Miles of Proof

This June, I’ll be riding 545 miles from San Francisco to Los Angeles. I won't be alone. I'll be supported by every word, gesture, and lesson from the folks who decided, consciously or not, to be mentors. 

The AIDS/LifeCycle isn’t just a charity ride. It’s a living example of what happens when community, resilience, and quiet leadership come together.

If you want to be part of that spirit by giving to the cause, here’s your chance:

https://giving.aidslifecycle.org/participant/44359 

And Remember ... Keep pedaling.

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