My Goal to Write a Book Starts Now

This is more. Way more than the feeling of butterflies in your stomach. This is uneasy anxiety and uncomfortable self-awareness mixed with nervous energy and doubt. That inner turmoil that makes you ask yourself, "You just said what? Out loud? On a social post? Like, no going back now or you really will fail?" type of questions.

Yep, that amount of more.

I've had this feeling a few times in my life, but the most relatable times to now take me back to high school when I was on our swim team. Swimming was a sport I loved participating in despite the grueling workouts designed to increase our stamina and lung capacity.

The Thrill of Victory, The Agony of Defeat

Swimming is both an individual and team sport. Individually, it's you and the clock. Each event, a race to shave fractions of seconds off your best times. As a team, you accrued points based on the top finishes of each event.

Our team was an unimpressive group of 10 females. Bear in mind, this was well before athletes such as Michael Phelps, Dara Torres, and Katie Ladecky became household names. We weren't just the women's team, we were the team representing our small private high school. Most often, we competed against area schools with teams 2-3 times our size.

The upside was that you were able to compete in 3 or 4 events at every meet. (Swim meets are incredibly long if you're only in 2 events, especially if there are multiple heats per event.) The downside was that every event mattered for earning points. So if your races occurred closely behind one another in the preset order of events, you could have very little downtime for your muscles and breathing to recover. Hence the grueling workouts.

But more than the competition and workouts and post-meet parties, what brings these memories flooding back are the stomach-churning feelings before each event race. Your inner core becoming a twisted cocktail of adrenaline and emotion.

A Dread You Not Only Wanted, But Needed

I dreaded this feeling. At least at my first couple of meets I did. It was hard to know what to do with all the pent-up energy that seemingly offered no practical purpose other than to distract you with doubt and fear.

Turns out, another upside to having a small team was that we all looked out for each other. So when my nerves began to display across my face like a neon sign flashing "panic!", a teammate was there to help.

Her first piece of advice was to chew down 2 Tums. Those chalky tablets weren't just a cure for heartburn but helped calm an anxious stomach too. (Pro tip: get the wintergreen flavor) However, her second tip was even more helpful.

Use it.

She explained that nervous energy was a good sign. It meant you showed up. It meant you took this meet and your event seriously. You weren't there to just swim. You were there to compete. She added the only time I should be really concerned was when the nerves and anxiety didn't show up at all.

Standing behind the starting blocks, I went through my pre-race paces. The final stretches, arm swings, and jumps to engage the muscles. The deep breaths to control my heart rate and fill my lungs. The concentrated stare, fixated on the other end of the pool. And listening for the hush before my cue.

Swimmers step up.

Take your mark.

...

Bam!

It's a Good Kind of Nervous

I've shared my plans of writing a book in small circles, but have only mentioned it a couple of times here until now. This? This article is me showing up. It's not a resolution for the year or a someday goal. This is me sharing what I am actively working on now.

A coach and mentor of mine pointed out that fear is a sign you're on the right track. Being fearless is a sign you're heading for mediocrity. It's the feeling of uncertainty that makes us come alive.

Nervous anxiety isn't exactly how I imagined going after a goal would make me feel. I have doubts and fears about this. I don't have a pre- book writing routine figured out yet to help me settle in and adjust my focus. But I do have an idea, a process, and a desire that excites me. I'm still in the planning phase but my book topic is narrowed in, the overview is ready to go, and my outline is falling into place.

So, Here We Go

The working title of my book is "Management Not Included." It will be a book that shares my perspectives on what it means to be a leader based on my career experiences, observations, and ongoing learning.

We’ve gotten over the idea that management is equal to leadership, but somehow we’re still stuck on this idea that being a leader must include being in charge of or responsible for others. Despite all the books and blogs, podcasts and posts on the topic of leadership, most of it – in business particularly – only applies to someone in management.  Expanding our understanding of what a leader is may break our accepted norms, but it will also build strong work cultures with better collaboration, leading to greater business growth.

A couple of months ago, I created a Substack as a creative outlet and a space to hold and share more of my own content. If you'd like to follow along with my process, read sneak peeks at chapters as I write them, and even have an opportunity to give feedback that can help shape my book, I would be honored to have you join me.

My Substack is completely ungated, so if you subscribe each post will be sent directly to your email. Any replies or comments on my posts will also come directly to me. It's called The Storyline Strategist and the link will take you directly there.

Thanks in advance. I'm going to go grab some Tums.