"The narcissism of small differences"

In the movie "Tar" (2022), Cate Blanchett plays Lydia Tar, a fictional and brilliant classical conductor. There's a scene I've replayed more times than I care to admit, where Lydia tries to convince a promising student to play more Bach. The student's reply? “Nowadays, white, cis male composers are just not my thing.” Lydia's counter? "Don’t be so eager to be offended. The narcissism of small differences leads to the most boring conformity." A wonderful line that perfectly criticizes our modern habit of taking offense at the drop of a hat.

Sigmund Freud, first introduced the concept of "narcissism of small differences", “Der Narzissmus der kleinen Differenzen”, in his 1930 work "Civilization and Its Discontents." He used it to describe how communities with small differences are often more antagonistic, hostile, toward each other than toward those with obvious differences. Essentially, and may he be tolerant of my simplification, Freud was saying we love to nitpick in our friendships, relationships, and cultures to feel unique—and, let's be real, superior.

Do we really need this moral superiority? It's exhausting…

One of my all-time favorite movies, Monty Python’s “The life of Bryan” (1979) has the perfect scene "Judean People's Front", showing an absurd and petty divisions among various revolutionary groups fighting against the Roman occupation. The humor lies in their inability to unite despite their shared goals, highlighting the trivial and often absurd nature of their differences. Satire at its finest.

The quote from "Tar" nails contemporary social dynamics, especially our penchant for getting offended over the tiniest distinctions. This happens everywhere nowadays: political debates, social media, and cultural debates. Minor differences in opinion or identity can spark massive, disproportionate conflicts.

Constantly seeking reasons to feel insulted or aggrieved is not only counterproductive but also emotionally draining. You end up in a tedious loop of the same old arguments. Fixating on minor differences stifles true diversity and meaningful dialogue and you get a monotonous and predictable pattern of conflict as suggested by Lydia Tar.

Life’s too short for this kind of drama.

I personally like to stick to facts, original sources and firsthand accounts, as debating the correctness of opinions and perceptions, that are inherently subjective, based on personal biases, cultural backgrounds, and individual expectations - and trying to obtain unanimous satisfaction and superiority is quite impossible.

The opinions and writings expressed are solely my own. While I utilize AI tools for productivity enhancements, editorial corrections, and spell checking, all content and viewpoints remain my personal responsibility