National Stress Awareness Day: Creating Space for Yourself

Today is National Stress Awareness Day and it's great timing for me personally. The last couple of weeks have seen my general stress levels way above average.

One of the ways stress manifests itself for me is in this sinking feeling that I get in the evening. After I've rushed home and cooked dinner, eaten, I suddenly find myself still. In that stillness I'm not relaxed, I'm anxious, worried about my calendar and todos for the next day. I always wonder to myself if others must feel the same way or whether I'm just overly sensitive.

I usually find my stress levels are high when I have more than one goal requiring a large amount of attention. If I have a few customer engagements I'm consulting for, along with some new business commitments, trying to hire more engineers, along with a myriad of personal projects, not least buying my first house last week, my ability to process and cope is reduced.

It's a bandwidth and processing issue. I feel like my brain and body is only usually good at dealing with one thing at a time. If I'm busy focussing on one thing my other priorities take a backseat or worse don't get dealt with. Every priority takes a toll on your stress levels and when you cannot afford time to deal with that priority, your brain and body holds onto the stress of it even if you aren't thinking about that particular priority. Multiply that by four or five priorities and I've got a lot of residual stress going on.

Whilst I don't think there is an easy fix or way to completely alleviate anxiousness and stress, creating space for yourself to process how you feel without judging yourself or putting additional pressure on yourself has to be a start. I've found myself in a bad place when I try to ignore the stress levels, telling myself just to get on with it, until something explodes like failure to keep to a commitment that forces me to look at why it happened.

How can you create space? I think it's unique to everyone but there are definitely some boundaries you can set with work that can help create the space for yourself:

• Committing to less is a big one though it can often feel hard to say no to things are work or in your personal life. To be effective you have to prioritise your efforts.
• Ensuring you leave on time may seem like a simple one but it's important to have enough time in the evening to process the day and begin calm down.
• Sport, exercise, and meditation are ways to create a space where you have breathing room from your priorities.
• Working from home if you are fortunate to have this option can be great. Avoiding the commute, avoiding the noise of the office, reducing the number distractions that can take you away from your priorities can really help.
• Taking holiday can be great for the soul. Even a long weekend gives you more time than usual to decompress, and really makes a difference.

All practical advice, even if I say so myself, but it's not always easy to follow. Often the blocker to doing the above will be a voice saying "it's not that bad" or "you don't deserve a break". The answer is in loving yourself more and respecting yourself but again, it's not easy.

To be honest, blowouts can be a good time to reflect and seek some help. I've certainly done that by seeking out professional counselling. Counselling is a commitment to creating space for yourself where you can moan and moan and moan, air your grievances, discuss how so many priorities are making you anxious and begin to reflect on your life so you can begin to create space in other areas too. If you haven't considered it and things are really hard for you right now, I'd really urge you to search http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk and get in touch with a professional in your area. Even if you only have one or two sessions it can make a big difference if you are open to it.

Anyhow, my other priorities are calling me now so I'll have to end here. Good luck everyone and I hope you find the space your deserve.

Stay well,

Luke