Networking: How To Avoid A Typical (Bad) Conversation

Everybody knows the key to a successful career whether you’re happily employed or looking for a new opportunity is networking. But the fact is that many of us are uncomfortable around strangers, particularly when we’re outside of our comfort zone. The perfect example is a networking event where you’re standing alone in a room full of strangers.

Why? First it’s difficult to enter an ongoing conversation. Especially when it’s a party of two who seem particularly engaged. It’s a little easier to join a group of three or more and inject yourself into the conversation. But the easiest way to meet new people is to go up to someone who is standing alone. If they’re like most of us, they’re just waiting there hoping someone will come over and rescue talk to them.

They key to making a connection is to avoid having a typical conversation. One that goes something like this:

Jill/Joe: Hi, I’m _______ Smith.
Amy/Andy: Hi Jill, I’m ________ Sage.
Jill/Joe: Nice to meet you.
Amy/Andy: Nice to meet you too.
Jill/Joe: Have you been to _________before?
Amy/Andy: Yes.
Jill/Joe: When were you here?
Amy/Andy: A couple of months ago.
Jill/Joe: Are you a member?
Amy/Andy: Yes, I just joined.
Jill/Joe: Great! What do you do?
Amy/Andy: I’m a senior vice president in marketing for XYZ company.
Jill/Joe: That’s nice.
Amy/Andy: What do you do?
Jill/Joe: I’m a lawyer.
Amy/Andy: That must be interesting.
Jill/Joe: Yes.

The two of them stand there awkwardly for a few minutes. Then one of them says:

Amy/Andy: Well it was nice to meet you.
Jill/Joe: Nice to meet you too.
Amy/Andy: OK, bye.
Jill/Joe: Bye.

Two or three conversations like this will convince you that going to networking events is a big waste of your time. Time better spent catching up on The Walking Dead. But you would be wrong. The secret to moving from superficial formalities to actually having a conversation is to be prepared.

Before attending your next event – be it your association’s monthly meeting or an office gathering – do the following:

• Have three topics to talk about besides the weather. Before you head off to your next event scan your local paper, spend a few minutes online visiting MSN or The New York Times or The Huffington Post.
• Try to ask open-ended questions. For example, follow-up “What do you do?” with “What made you choose that profession/business/career?” or “What do you like (or dislike) about it?” Avoid too many questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no. Remember the other person probably is just as uneasy as you are.
• Think about how you can help the other person with their networking goals. Ask what brought them to this particular event. Was it the speaker? Were they attracted to the association itself? Why? Was it recommended by a friend? What do they hope to get out of being there?

The more often you practice your networking skills, the more comfortable you’ll be meeting new people. And the better your skills the easier it will be to build your network.

Always remember, most people there are as nervous as you are. The person you see standing alone in the corner is fervently hoping someone will come over and say hi. Be that person and you may have a friend for life.

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Annette Richmond, MA, CARW, is a Certified Resume Writer, former Recruiter, and Executive Editor of career-intelligence.com, a one-stop shop for career information and advice which has been helping women and men make smoother job transitions and smarter career choices for over a decade.

As a Certified Advanced Resume Writer, Annette brings the talent of a trained writer, the perspective of a recruiter, and the knowledge of a professional who has spent over a decade in the career industry to every client she works with. Annette’s career-management advice has been featured in many outlets including FORBESWOMAN, Business Insider, Florida Today, Vault.com, Monster.com, and The Wall Street Journal.

To find out about working with her visit Resume Writing & Career Services. Follow her on Twitter @careerintell.

If your resume isn't getting results join Annette for a complimentary one-hour webinar: Turn Your Outdated Resume Into A Modern Marketing Tool, Thursday, April 16th, 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. Eastern. Register here.

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