NETWORKING FOR INTROVERTS.

The thing about ‘in-person’ is that, well, it means you have to be around people! And for some that environment is not the preferred space to be in. Some people find social interaction draining and prefer the more intimate and less stimulating environments. Some people prefer to recharge through solitude, rather than having people around them to harness their energy.

In short: some people are Introverts; and in-person Networking can be a challenge for people who have introvert traits.

But don’t despair! I have expanded this series to include any tips I have found for Networking for Introverts, that takes you further than the usual ‘arrive early’ and / or ‘bring a wing person’ run-of-the-mill advice. Don’t get me wrong, those ideas are valid, but is there anything more? And what about after the event .. what then?

Perhaps you will learn something new, but even if you just read something that validates an already existing approach, then I think we can call that a win. Let’s go! 

PREPARATION

From what I have read, most of the tips seem to focus on things you can do before the event to make the experience more user-friendly, so I will start there.

1. Set Yourself Up For YOUR Success.

Identify what a successful night looks like for you … and then stick to it! This is your night too, and having the most number of business cards or email addresses at the end is not the definition of success for everyone. But what is? Well, that is up to you to decide for yourself. So, please do set yourself goals, but also do keep them realistic. This will help you remain motivated and spurred on by a sense of success that wasn’t overwhelming to achieve.

2. Prepare Conversation Starters In Advance.

Being put on the spot or feeling the pressure of having to find the perfect line is not conducive to Introvert-style, in-person Networking. So, why not take the pressure off yourself and create a few ‘go to’ opening lines that you can use throughout the event. Leading up to the event, take the time to thoughtfully consider how you could break the ice in a way that doesn’t break the anxiety bank for you.

If you would like to move beyond the usual opening lines, check out Article 3.1 in this series (Next Level Networking – Part I), that helps you mix up the introductions. I would say that they work for Introverts, too, but honestly, some of the ideas may be more tailor-made for people focused individuals like yourself. And if we are being real here, you only really need two or three opening lines for, chances are, you’ll either have minimal new interactions, or you won’t be kicking off conversations with the same people. Plus you may hit the jackpot and end up having others introduce you and start the interaction (#bonus).

ONCE YOU’RE THERE

1. Find Quiet Zones.

I love this suggestion so much! When you arrive, make it a priority to identify where you can go to have a few moments of piece and quiet and emotionally recharge. Just like this safety professional will tell you to count the rows or doors between you and an exit on a plane or in a hotel respectively, I’m also putting this observation exercise on your ‘to do’ list. Look for areas such as hallways, quiet nooks, seating areas a little farther away from the action, outdoor patios etc., where you can take short breaks to rest.

2. Use Said Quiet Zones … Frequently.

Find them, then use them … intentionally and regularly. Don’t wait to feel drained before you find a place of respite, consider scheduling rest breaks into the night. For example, take a break every so many interactions or so many minutes. In-person events are dynamic in nature and it can be easy to get caught up in the flow and drift down the Networking Nile, so find space that help you and use them at frequencies that support you.

Bathrooms can be a great place for breathing or other grounding exercises. And if you’re outdoors, gazing up at the stars is the perfect cover for some calming affirmations to reassure you. Yes, that takes time, and I am sure that the Networking event is important, but so is your mental mindset … and so are you!

3. Avoid The Groups.

In Article 2 (Networking Basics) I touched on breaking into groups and how one group dynamic would be easier than another (V-shaped over closed circle). Well, it may be easier for Introverts to avoid the group setting altogether and focus on one-on-one interactions or at least smaller groups. This environment may help people feel more approachable and feel less intimidating to an Introvert. And, once connected and introduced, this setting could allow for more intimate and meaningful conversations.

PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS

Introverts have a distinct set of characteristics that make them standout such as their capacity to think deeply and reflect upon data provided to them; data they obtain thanks to their excellent listening skills! Introverts are also known for being observant and understanding of other people’s needs. And wow! Doesn’t that all sound like great skills to being into an in-person Networking session?? It sure does, so these next tips are designed to show introverts how to play to their strengths.

1. You Are The Calm In The Chaos.

Introverts are known for their natural calm: do you know how refreshing that is – you are! – in noisy networking spaces? Embrace your difference and know that you are most likely going to make the difference to others who are attending. This will make you memorable. Being memorable is a goal for in-person Networking.  You’ll most likely do great. And all you did was be yourself! Yay you!

2. Leverage Your Active Listening Skills.

People love to feel heard and understood, and an Introvert’s capacity to do so is a Super! Power! For people with a busy mind who are feeding off the energy of the room or the interaction, staying present enough can make active listening a challenge … let alone slowing the brain down long enough to ask thoughtful questions. But a more introverted person will more likely be able to cut through the chaos of connection, listen to learn, and question without the cross-examine. Try leaning into that.

3. Participate In Structured Events.

Participating in mini-workshops or group exercises may seem counter-intuitive advice for Introverts, but they provide natural conversation starters and take the pressure off having to consistently initiate and constantly come up with an introduction. If you think about it, everyone who participates in (even smaller) activities that others have created already share something in common – the activity and a purpose for the interaction … and all of that takes the spotlight and the pressure off you.

AFTER THE EXIT.

I genuinely believe that exiting a conversation or a night at the right time in the right way is a common conundrum for all of us. So, I will offer the advice I presented in Article 3.2 (Next Level Networking – Part II) in dot-point below, and then move on:

·  Leave The Connection With A Hook - Something upbeat energizing and that focuses on them, not your departure;

·  Leave With Humility – Recognition of how much you have enjoyed the connection + That you don’t want to monopolize their time + Gratitude; and

·  Leave Affirming A Solid Plan To Re-Connect – Especially if the commitment was made a few iterations of the conversation ago.

Then…

1. Find Ways To Recharge Afterward.

It is a generalisation, but it is the Extrovert trait to be energized by human interaction; not the Introverts’. And the best way to plan for the next event is to wrap-up the previous event properly, so here are some ways to help you do that.

·  Block Recovery Time In Advance.

Include some post-event solitude in your pre-event planning activities. A (safe) solo walk or journey back home, journalling who you met, what went well, whatever works for you. But consider your down-time as part of – and as important as – the event itself.

·  Make Your Alone Time Mindful.

Meditation or stretching can probably restore your mental clarity better than mindless scrolling or binge watching Netflix. No judgement here, just a gentle nudge towards dong something restorative, not just passive.

·  Celebrate Your Wins.

Please consciously make the time to celebrate you and your achievements for the night, whatever they were. Acknowledge your effort: Showing up is a big deal for Introverts! (#yourock).

·  Give Yourself Space.

Start by giving yourself permission to give yourself space. Back-to-back events can be brutal, and if you’re at an away-from-home event, then there is usually all sorts of pressure to meet up here, go out there etc. This is exhausting, so space out social events if you can to prevent emotional burnout and allow yourself to bring the best of yourself to wherever you decide to go.            

And if you are worried about the timeliness of your post-event reach out – the necessary evil after in-person Networking – read on for how to address that using another one of Introverts’ signature strengths.

2. Use The Power Within Your Written Word.

A bit of theme in what I read for this article is that Introverts can be more comfortable with expressing themselves in writing: If that is you, then perhaps keep it brief in-person, focus your event energy into making the connection, and then make the ‘follow up’ your power move. Timing wise, this would be sending a quick follow-up message shortly after the event thanking them for the conversation or referencing something specific you discussed, and then using the time you buy to recover from the event and focus on how to expand the connection with a targeted action item.

 Think about it this way, relationships aren’t all about establishing a connection … sure it helps (#thankyoucaptainobvious), but how you reinforce a connection can often lead to deeper professional relationships. So, if making the impact at the time isn’t quite your style, get across the line and then make your high-impact move in the time that follows in a way that works best for you. 

CONCLUSION

In-person Networking isn’t for everyone, as we all have our own internal social-needs-setting. Some people love it, thrive on it, miss it when it’s over. While others can and do successfully network in person, buuuuut prefer one-on-one interactions and deeper conversations to working the room. Introverts, I see you and hopefully have provided some insights into how you can navigate the in-person landscape for you, in a way that is authentic and successful to you.

Truthfully, even though I am more on the extrovert scale, I really like some of the suggestions that I uncovered for this article. Honestly, I can see myself putting into practice most of the suggestions I have offered in this series so far. BUT …

A list is growing ….

A list of suggestions I have found that I just can’t see myself doing ….

For whatever reason ….

Which means they represent opportunities to learn.

This is Article 5 of my Networking series: Article 6 will be that list and how I can seek to reframe it.

This is Day 6 of my Networking journey: My uncomfortable uncoverings will be out on Day 8.

Day 7 is a teaser to the kick-off of our Networking Up! series of articles.

So, until then, just remember: 

Every interaction is a step forward: Keep learning and keep connecting, one conversation at a time!

Thank you for sharing my learning journey.

Cheers, Tanya