One Day, They're Gonna Figure It Out...

“What's talent but the ability to get away with something?” ~Tennessee Williams

It Was Only A Matter of Time...

Have you ever had that feeling? You know, the one that insidiously slides up your back and envelops your brain and takes root. The feeling that whispers in your ear, "One day, they're gonna figure it out. One day, your boss is going to walk in here and call it. She's going to say, 'The jig is up dude, I know what you're doing.'" And on that day, you're going to stand up, take your licks, and go home with your head hung low, because you just knew it was only a matter of time.

What are they going to figure out? That you're faking it. That you're a phony, a fraud, a liar, and a fake. That you have absolutely no idea what you're doing. That you are that ONE person who slipped through the cracks, who got in to that school that you had no business attending. That you were that crafty little devil who conned the manager into making that offer for the job you didn't deserve. That you had somehow managed to slip into line with all the "smart and successful" people, or the popular kids, or maybe, you find yourself playing in a band with "real" musicians.

Drummers and HR People, a Bit of a Personal Narrative

Speaking of which, I was always the drummer. You know, not a real musician. I just hit things, in the back. Despite the fact that I practiced almost all the time I wasn't in school or doing homework, I was 'just' the drummer. I had a band director in middle school, I'll never forget Mr. Bell. He helped establish my inner imposter. He used to say, rather emphatically, that there were two types of people in this world: musicians and drummers. Thanks.

Well, I learned a few other instruments, took some vocal lessons, and wrote some songs. For a good chunk of my life, I played in bands, worked as a session musician, and toured the country playing music for a living...but it was never the real deal, ya know? There were people out there killing it. I just did my thing, it wasn't any big deal. Just lucky, I guess.

After giving that whole 'music thing' a go, I had to grow up and find a real job. My focus in undergrad and grad school (don't worry, they were just state schools - it's not like I had the cred to attend an Ivy League school or anything) was always organizational behavior (OB). I wanted to be one of those cool OB/OD types like my old mentor, Dr. Chris Neck.

I was unsuccessful in scoring a cool OB/OD job at this time, but I did manage to con a nice Scottish person into hiring me for a Human Resources role. HR isn't real business you know. You might get to sit at the table with the real biz people from Sales, Marketing, Finance, or Engineering, but mostly they tolerate you because "people are our greatest asset or whatever." Less insight, Spencer. More Holiday party planning, was the chorus that I heard inside my head.

Despite having gone on to teach at the collegiate level, having worked with over a thousand leaders in several countries, advising some prominent companies on their people strategies, contributing to books, articles, and serving on advisory boards, to helping to build and grow a successful boutique consultancy - despite all of that, someday, they're going to find out. The jig'll be up, and I'll be out on my ear.

I'm A Loser Baby...

We tend to think it's just us. Everyone else has their shit together. Normal people don't think about things like this. Regular folks just show up and do the jobs that they're supposed to do. I'm sure they knew what they wanted to be when they were kids, and had absolutely no trouble selecting their major. Interestingly, it seems that it's a whole lot more people than just you; it happens to most of us. It happens to successful, famous people too. Kate Winslet would say to herself before going off to a shoot, "I can't do this, I'm a fraud." Actor Don Cheadle once confided that, "All I can see is everything that I'm doing wrong; that I'm a sham and a fraud."

Celebrated author, Maya Angelou once shared, "I've written eleven books, but each time I think, 'Uh oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on them, and they're going to find me out. Serial astronaut, Hubble Space Telescope Repairman, MIT Grad, and Columbia professor, Mike Massimino was "just a kid from Long Island who had no business here." He was the one who didn't belong.

Inside the Mind of the Imposter

So let's think about this for a moment. Actors, authors, and astronauts (oh my!) have this issue. US Presidents have admitted feeling this way, this condition afflicts a large percentage of humans on the planet. It's called Imposter Syndrome (or Imposter Phenomenon), and it's a condition by which successful people credit their successes to luck, to being in the right place at the right time, to anything other than ability, hard work, or perseverance.

 Imposter syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success.

This phenomenon was first described by psychologists, Pauline Rose Clance, Ph. D., and Susan Imes, Ph. D. in 1978. Feeling like things happen to you because of some sort of fluke or twist of fate turned out to be much more common than Clance and Imes had imagined. In their paper, The Imposter Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention, they discuss the specifics of Imposter Phenomenon and the potential (culturally and societally aggravated) gender implications. Dr. Hannah Kent, recently did a fantastic TED talk on this topic, it's definitely worth your time.

So, What Can I Do About Imposter Syndrome?

Here are three things you can do right now, to start dealing with the imposter in the mirror.

1. You Are Not Alone

Researching this topic, talking to people in my life about this affliction, and listening to scads of clients explain how this feels, has helped me to see that I am most certainly not alone.

I had a former manager who was pretty amazing. She came in my office at the end of a particularly stressful and very LONG day. It was about 8:30pm when she flopped down in my guest chair, threw her feet up on my desk and said, "So, what are you most afraid in this job, Eric?" Caught off guard, I stammered something about the acquisition that we were working through at the time; then I stopped myself. I looked her in the eyes and said, "Honestly, I'm afraid that you're going to walk in here one day and tell me that you figured it out. You know that I'm totally bullshitting my way through this job, through my career, and fire me."

She had this huge laugh. The kind of laugh you can hear across the whole floor, and she let one just roar! She said, "Dude, I'm afraid that you're going to walk in here and say, 'Why the hell am I working for you?' because you have figured out that I have no idea what I'm doing!"

Pro Tip #1: You're not alone. We're all faking it to some degree. Take solace in the fact that the most buttoned-up, shit-together, successful people you know have had these thoughts at one time or another. Breathe in the fact that somewhere, right now, squillions of people are doing superstitious rituals to ensure that their presentation goes well, that the meeting is a success, or that they get the deal done. They're listening to the same album, driving the same route, or wearing their "lucky socks," instead of believing in themselves. (Oh, and I said, "ProTip," because I'm a pro. My imposter self tried to get me to edit that about 5 times now. I'm a freaking pro. Shut it, imposterbrain.)

2. Step Up and Just Own It

Attributing your success to luck or fate or some sort of voodoo magic is a deflection tactic that sufferers of Imposter Syndrome employ. If I go out of my way to compliment you on an achievement, do not minimize my opinion. Don't belittle my assessment. Isn't that borderline offensive? Accept my compliment (I'm a pro, remember?) perhaps even celebrate it.

Pro Tip #2: Even when compliments are hard to accept, smile, listen, and say thank you. On the drive home, replay the tape of that compliment in your head. Think about how you'd feel if you believed that compliment to be 100% true. Revel in that feeling a little. Baby steps.

3. Celebrate Success, All of Them

There is no victory too small, celebrate them. Sometimes I celebrate making an impossibly complex trash basket (especially if I caromed the paper wad off the desk AND the file cabinet!) We shortchange ourselves often. When things crash and burn, we will often "post-mortem" the hell out if them. When things go well, we tend to simply move on to the next thing on our to-do lists. Pause, breathe, revel in that victory a little.

Pro Tip #3: Form an 'Accountability Group' with some friends. Create a safe place where you can share the imposter feelings, share the success, and prop each other up when things are tough. This doesn't have to be a big deal 2 or 3 people whom you trust. Set up a Skype Room or Google Hangout and jump on once a month.

Let's Do This!

We're all imposters. We're all faking it every single day. Ummmm....except that we're not. We've earned what we've won. Despite our best efforts to wrest it away from ourselves, we deserve it. In the immortal words of Stuart Smalley (self-help guru from Saturday Night Live in the 90s), We're good enough, we're smart enough, and doggone it, people like us!

Eric Spencer is an energetic speaker, author, human resources and leadership development expert. With over twenty-five years’ experience in companies ranging in size from start-ups to the Fortune 50, he has a rich set of experiences that help shape his down to earth approach to achieving real business results. His work with Morag Barrett in the area of workplace relationships is central to their philosophy – “Business is personal, and relationships do matter.” Cultivate: The Ally Mindset – Coming in 2020! Learn more at www.skyeteam.com. Follow him on Twitter @ericspencer1