One Day You’re Partnering, the Next Competing - How the Best Partner Leaders Win

In July of 2020, I have a vivid memory of moving my family from Seattle to Arizona. Somewhere on that long road trip, I queued up Satya Nadella 's Hit Refresh and naturally, forced everyone in the car to listen along.

I loved that book. But one chapter in particular still resonates deeply with me, Chapter 5, “Friends or Frenemies?”

In it, Satya talks about the complexity of modern ecosystems, especially the kind Microsoft has mastered. He describes a world where companies simultaneously compete and collaborate, sometimes within the very same accounts. It’s a model built not on rigid rules, but on strategic flexibility.

"We compete hard in many areas. But instead of viewing things as zero sum, let's view things as, 'Hey, what is it that we're trying to get done? Places where we can co-operate, let's co-operate.' And where we're competing, we compete."

Microsoft has built one of the most powerful, action oriented, and profitable ecosystems in the world. And what struck me is that Satya doesn’t shy away from the tension, he names it, embraces it, and uses it to drive results.

Ecosystems are complex and partner and channel teams are truly playing a different game than other departments.  They’re held to revenue targets and timelines but the road they travel is very complex.  It’s filled with with cross-functional landmines, overlapping stakeholders, and the ever changing landscape of corporate politics. 

Internally, these teams are navigating silos, turf wars, and shifting priorities across sales, marketing, product, and legal. Externally, they’re managing relationships with companies that could be valued partners today and fierce competitors tomorrow.

It’s the paradox of the modern ecosystem: You’re co-selling on one account and competing on the next.

And yet we still partner because it’s what the customer requires. And therein lies the revenue opportunity.  This is what it takes to dominate markets. The best partner leaders don’t get rattled by these dynamics. 

They are designing for them.

They come with a strategic lens and embed the guardrails into their partner programs. This isn’t a one size fits all, each strategic partnership is it’s own snowflake, perfectly and uniquely nuanced.  The best leaders understand where and how to deepen relationships, align field teams, and get the right data to both teams, they are activating true revenue driving programs with the added layer of complexity, co-opetition. Most importantly, they create governance structures that allow partnerships to thrive even when competition enters the room.

But getting there isn’t easy.  There are critical pitfalls that can quietly kill even the most promising partnership. Below are the most common and costly pitfalls I’ve seen. Along with the strategies to avoid them.

Pitfall #1: No Defined Rules of Engagement (ROEs)

When there are no clear ROEs in place, field-level friction is inevitable. Teams move fast, often fueled by good intentions and excitement of “what this could be in a utopia world” but the moment competitive overlap appears, everything stalls.  Reps stop collaborating. Pipeline sharing dries up. And what should’ve been a joint win turns into a silent standoff.

Fix:

• Define ROEs early, document them and over communicate them.
• Who leads in which accounts?
• What happens when there’s overlap?
• What’s the escalation path when conflicts arise?

Crystal clear ROEs build trust, prevent gridlock, and allow your field teams to move fast together.  When conflict arises, the path to resolve has already been mapped out. 

Pitfall #2: GTM Plans Without Data

You’ve built the strategy. The partnership kickoff was inspiring. But execution stalls because you can’t get at the right data. Your partner won’t open up their CRM, you can’t hand over yours, and the executive team is nervous about sharing broadly. Without a secure system to pinpoint mutual customers and whitespace, without exposing every account and opportunity, you’re flying blind. As a result, your GTM plan never leaves the slide deck.

Fix:

• Deploy a secure data-sharing platform like PartnerTap that lets each side share only the right accounts and opportunities they choose, so you can automatically map overlap securely and whitespace without full data exposure.
• Enable platforms that allow field-team opt-ins on the best accounts, ensuring reps are able to choose to engage and co-sell.
• Automate mutual account identification and pipeline activation, so strategy becomes action at scale and with confidence.

Pitfall #3: Poor Plan with Limited Executive Engagement and Buy-in

There must be shared definitions of success. Misaligned goals breed mistrust especially when partners are expected to co-sell. Without a solid plan and strategy that maps to revenue goals the executives will view this as a risky nice to have not a need.

Fix:

• Jointly define innovation priorities, revenue splits, and success metrics upfront.
• Align on go-to-market models and investment levels early.
• Gain Executive buy in and engage executives often on progress
• Establish executive-level escalation early.

Where partners may one day compete, executive alignment must be ironclad.

Pitfall #4: Unbalanced Power Dynamics

It happens all the time, one partner has the upper hand controlling the relationship, the access, or the customer narrative. This imbalance goes unchecked, it creates resentment, compliance risk, and eventual disengagement.

Fix:

• Build equitable governance from the start.
• Conduct joint account planning sessions and regular QBRs.
• Ensure your field teams understand who has control of the wheel.  In every case field teams need to understand when to take a back seat when one side owns more of the customer relationship.

Pitfall #5: Zero Sum Mindset with No Escalation path 

When things go wrong what happens next determines the fate of the partnership.  Without a neutral escalation path or shared accountability model, disputes default to win/lose thinking. People protect turf. Revenue slows. Trust dies. Mistrust spreads like wildfire.

Fix:

• Build an agreed escalation path into your ROEs
• Appoint senior executive sponsors from both sides.
• Establish a tiered mediation framework.
• Revisit and reinforce ROEs consistently.

Partnerships unravel quickly when teams start bending or ignoring the agreed upon ROE’s and escalation path.

Pitfall #6: Data & IP Blind Spots

From field teams to partner leads, data is exchanged constantly account lists, deal intel, customer intent, even product plans. But without guardrails, this creates risk.  Data misuse accusations escalate fast and can derail an entire partnership .

Fix:

• Define data governance clauses in your ROEs: access rights, usage restrictions, and IP protections.
• Use clean room technologies and secure platforms to control access and visibility. Align and action data through complex account teams. 
• Defining sales plays and aligning only the most targeted data that will be used to execute co-innovtion, co-marketing, co-sell, and co-retention.  
• These systems can also be used as a way to keep accounts blocked off from sales engagement altogether

Pitfall #7: Lack of a Strategic Plan

Too often, partner teams are expected to toggle between strategic vision and tactical execution on the fly.  One minute they're in an leadership meeting defining ecosystem strategy, the next they're troubleshooting account-level conflicts in the field.

It’s exhausting. And without a clear strategic plan, it’s easy to lose the plot. Worse many partner leaders default to what they know: replicating strategies they’ve seen work in one company or industry. But markets and ecosystems are evolving fast, and yesterday’s playbook won’t win tomorrow’s market.

Fix:

• Think bigger. Don’t build your strategy in a vacuum, tap into expertise beyond your own experience.
• Bring in outside perspective. Consulting firms that operate across industries and ecosystems offer objective clarity, proven frameworks, and insights you won’t get internally.
• Partner with experts. The best partner leaders know when to lean on specialized firms to scale smarter and faster.
• At PartnerTap , we collaborate with both large and boutique consulting firms that specialize in: Partner Led Strategy, Ecosystem strategy, Co-selling, Multi-partner selling, and Go-to-Market optimization
• Need a recommendation? If you're building your partner strategy and want to get it right the first time, we’d be happy to connect you with the best.

Walking Tightropes to Win the Market

In today’s enterprise landscape, walking the tightrope between partnering and competing isn’t optional, it’s the cost of entry. For companies operating in large ecosystems, this balancing act isn’t a liability. It’s a competitive advantage. The best partner leaders aren’t shying away from the tension. They’re embracing it with bold strategy, clear structure, innovative partner technology and unwavering leadership.

The next wave of growth won’t come from playing it safe. It will come from those who can plan for complexity, activate their ecosystems, and turn co-opetition into a revenue machine.

This is how markets are won.