Not One Minute Late: On Change

I’m a firm believer that we learn everything at the time we’re meant to – never too early and never too late. Each lesson comes to you at the right moment, arriving when you’re ready for it whether you know it or not.

I recently had a chat with Chidera Olewuenyi , a new hire on my team who just joined the firm full time after two summers as an intern. She’s just starting her career journey, and naturally has a lot of questions. As we sit down together twice a month, we’ll explore all that she wants to know, learning together one question at a time.

Chidera: “The month of September is a period of change for many. For me, this has been the first September that I’ve spent out of a classroom in years. There’s this confusing, almost overwhelming blend of anticipation and anxiety that I feel characterizes periods of transition like this. How do you personally prepare for change? Is change something you can even adequately prepare for?”

The reality is, change surrounds us, and the better we get at adapting to it, the more resilient we’ll be at life.

Amina: “The reality is, change surrounds us, and the better we get at adapting to it, the more resilient we’ll be at life. It’s a skill. It’s important to think about whether this is free-flowing anxiety – Am I just nervous because it’s a change or is there something fundamentally upsetting about the change that’s happening? Usually, it’s just that we’re nervous that there’s a lot more unknown. And so, if I’m nervous about something that’s unknown, I try to equalize the unknown.

For example, let’s say I was moving apartments. I would try to find something that I loved doing in my old neighborhood that I could continue in my new one. If I would always go to the same diner when I lived in my old apartment, I would seek out a diner near my new apartment because I know that that’s something I like to do.

That way, you start to attach a positive memory to something that’s new. It’s such a small thing to do, but you have to balance out the fear with a sense of joy. Most changes - the ones that stem from fear of the unknown - a lot of them actually have joy in the middle of it.

Most changes - the ones that stem from fear of the unknown - a lot of them actually have joy in the middle of it.

Another big part of this is to identify why you are feeling anxious or nervous about the change. Is it just fear of the unknown or is it something that’s truly unraveling and upsetting? I recommend telling friends that you’re nervous about the change. I speak a lot about the power of your crew. Sometimes it’s such small words that people say – Oh you got this, you know how to do that—that help you realize that you do know how to handle change.”

Chidera: “Is there any change that you’re thinking about right now?”

Amina: “I’m running the New York City marathon, so September is going to be a big month of training. I’m totally nervous about it. I think sometimes you’re nervous about something because it means something to you. The marathon means something to me. I’ve put effort and energy into my training, so I should feel nervous about it. That’s a very expected emotion – if you didn’t feel nervous about going to school or doing a marathon or starting your first job, something would be off.”

Chidera: “I think why your answer resonates so much and why it would resonate broadly is because as you mentioned, change is all around us, whether it’s a big life change like moving or small day to day changes.”

Amina: “Day to day things! The deli I go to is closed. That’s…annoying. Not life-changing, but Oh, I have to do something different now…Find a new little spot.

In the UK, there was a study. There was a transit strike and a couple of lines were shut down, so people had to find new routes to get to their destinations. They found that once the strike was over, I want to say 15-20% of people kept the new route. I love that! The idea that having to do something different inspired a bunch of people to continue to do the new thing, not just to default to what they were doing before. Change can be very good. It brings a new something to your portfolio. There you go, that’s my answer.”