The one thing you must do before becoming successful
Young people dream of being successful. Parents often work tirelessly to create opportunities to improve outcomes, putting homework reminders ahead of video game time. If parents put “happiness” first, they would let the kids just play the video games. They want the best for their children. There’s a problem, though: the “best” is based upon their definition, formed long before the child has a sense of free will.
High school students are encouraged to work towards a successful future. Those that get into college then work to try to get a job, usually because they’re told it’s the right thing.
There’s one critical thing people forget on the road towards success: they don’t define what success means to them.
Your parents likely have or had an idea of what this should resemble. Immigrant parents can be particularly forceful and narrow about the definition. Social media and other media influences try to force a skewed and artificially enhanced vision of success, complete with absurd imagery of hundred dollar bills laid across beds, bottle service, or resort room pictures above crystal clear blue water. We spend far more time being told what success is than we spend actually defining it for ourselves.
The child that tells their family that they want to be a jazz musician is following their passion while their parents do their very best to hide their concerns about the financial stability and viability of the decision. The parents may think their jazz musician daughter or son is “happy” but not successful by their measurement. This causes strife and family tension.
Your definition is critical towards achieving success. If you take the traditional route and choose a “great college, great job, plenty of money to live comfortably” you might miss a key ingredient: joy. If you put joy ahead of practical things like providing for your loved ones, you might be happy but uncomfortable.
Before diving headfirst into the path of success, come up with you OWN formula. It may include money. It likely will include happiness. It might include responsibility, helping others, teaching, being a student of your faith, being a loving parent, making people happy, creating art. The mixture is very personal, unique to each person. It requires strength and courage to go against the grain, especially if the grain includes family members.
Look for articles about unhappy wealthy people. Look for articles about happy people in “poor” countries. This exercise should challenge your definition and force you to re-think the ingredients.
It would be a shame if you achieved everything you or your parents wanted you to do only to find out you weren’t happy.
Before you become successful, define it. In the end, it’s no one else’s but yours.