Oops! ... I Failed (Again). Here's What I'm Going to Do About It

You know how fail posts are becoming a thing on LinkedIn?

You know the posts. You've seen the posts. You've probably even hearted one or two of them (Don't worry - I have too). They're the posts where people bravely bare their soul and how their rock bottom helped them see the light/ become a better person/ adopt a puppy.

And while these are commendable and vulnerable, they always strike me as being a bit insincere. Like a brag disguised as a fail (#sorrynotsorry). Because the way I see it, fails are never that neatly packaged. And sadly rarely end with a happily ever after, let alone a puppy.

Fails are messy. They're painful. They make you feel shame. And more than anything, they make you want to want to skulk away quietly and hide in some darkly lite alley where not even lurkers on the dark web will find you.

Well - this isn't one of those posts. This is an EPIC fail post (with screenshots for proof)

A few months ago, a friend and I decided to launch a content agency for the cybersecurity industry. We were pumped. 

As Content Warriors Agency, we were ready to wage war against boring cybersecurity content. We were amped up and filled with what felt like helium. Before our very eyes, we could imagine inflating our ideas, and just like that, they'd become a reality. We felt unstoppable.

And so, as you do, we bought a domain, built a website, created a logo and brand identity and got ready to attack. Watch out world! Here we come! What could go wrong, right?! 

That was 6 months ago. Last week my talented business partner and I decided to call it quits.

• In 6 months, we had countless strategy meetings.
• In 6 months, we interviewed many talented writers we could imagine ourselves hiring.
• In 6 months, we pitched the kind of cybersecurity companies we wanted to work with.
• In 6 months, we had many meetings and exchanged emails with prospective clients.

And yet, we didn't sign one client.

We failed. Our business failed. 

We found ourselves without any clients or helium.

I'm not going to get into the specifics because I feel that's less relevant. But I wanted to own this failure instead of erasing it like it never happened. Like I've done in the past.

See, I'm no stranger to failure. I'm always launching some new idea or project which just never quite gets off the ground. It's painful to admit, but it's true. And I hope that in opening up and sharing openly and honestly, I can inspire others to do the same. 

When anything ends, whether a relationship or a business, we're forced to confront our feelings of failure head-on. And in my case, my feelings were as mean and sarcastic as some pickpocketing chain-smoker who had just lost his pack of ciggies. 

Let's just say my feelings didn't go easy on me and said things like:

1. Another failure, Nicole? [Oops! You did it again]
2. What went wrong this time? [Well done, Nicole!]
3. What could I have done differently? [You'll never learn!]
4. What can I learn from this? [Can you really teach an old dog new tricks?! I'm doubtful]
5. AHHHH! What now? [Gotta bring home the bacon.] 

Let me tell you; those angry chain-smoker feelings aren't pleasant. And that's putting it mildly. I feel battered and bruised. I feel a deep sense of shame. And yet, in mulling things over, I've learned a lot. 

Here's what all this uncomfortable failure has taught me:

1. It's okay to fail. To fail hard. And to repeat

As I mentioned, I'm not new to failure. On some days, I have 10 new business ideas before I've had my first cup of coffee. I also own more domain names than pairs of shoes. Over the years, I've also tried many different projects, many of which failed to get off the ground. 

I'm not proud of any of this. Except maybe the domains. And yet, I'm starting to see all these failures as battle scars. They're the trail markers that show me how far I've come and may hint at where I'm headed. All this failure is part of my story and what makes me who I am. And (to use a tired cliche) failure is what leads you to success. Here's hoping.

2. Just because it's a good idea doesn't make it the right idea (for you)

There are a googolplex (google it, it's a thing) of good ideas out there. And I still think Content Warriors Agency is a brilliant idea for a content marketing agency. It just wasn't the right idea for me right now. And believe me, when I tell you, I tried it on, took it out for a spin and did my darndest to make it fit.

See I've been creating content for this niche for years. I wouldn't say I'm THE expert, but I know my stuff. And I know how to write. But if I’m honest, I think I want a change. I want to do something other than creating content for cybersecurity companies. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But I was afraid to admit it. I was afraid to really own the fact that I’m done with the chapter of my life. Because owning it and admitting it is slamming a door shut tight and that's not an easy thing to do. But now, faced with yet another failure, I’m forced to own it for real this time. 

3. Choose your business partners like you would your last meal 

Ever think about what you’d choose as a last meal if you were on death row? For me, it would probably be this meringue tower with cream and chocolate and canned peaches my mom used to make when I was a child. And this isn’t some random choice. It’s a meal that is the perfect combination of happiness and childhood for me (and may help explain my terrible sweet tooth). The point is, I didn’t just happen upon this meal. And it’s the same with business partners. Choose your business partners with care (or do not pass go, do not collect $200). 

But please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not blaming my business partner for the Content Warriors Agency failing. She is talented and professional and was a pleasure to work with. And I know she’ll go far in whatever she decides to do. We also get along very well and do feed off each other’s entrepreneurial energy. And yet something in the partnership just didn’t work. I’m learning that getting along and ‘vibing’ isn’t enough to launch a successful business. It takes a certain je ne sais quoi. A good friend of mine put it well: A business partnership is like a marriage. And it takes so much more than liking a person to make it work.

4. You must be willing to eat the shit sandwich

In Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert asks “What’s your favourite flavour of shit sandwich?” Here she is referring to the fact that every task, project and creative endeavour sucks from time to time. To succeed and stick with something, you have to be willing to eat the shit sandwich time and time again. And if you aren’t willing to, then it’s just not for you. And that’s okay.

I think my business partner and I got to a point where, faced with no clients and lots of stress, we just weren’t willing to eat the shit sandwich anymore. For me, this is a freeing and empowering idea. It also really rings true for me. I think this idea helps clarify whether you’re really invested in an idea. If I’m brutally honest, I think my heart just wasn’t in it. 

5. Financial stress is a major killer of entrepreneurial mojo

The last few weeks of Content Warriors Agency were especially stressful. Why? What made these weeks different? Well, having used up our runway we were both faced with the harsh reality: We had to make money now! It was do or die. It was a Defcon 1 kinda situation. Reflecting on it now, it’s no wonder we decided to throw in the towel. That’s insanely unreasonable pressure. And definitely not fertile ground for a successful agency.

In his book Originals, Adam Grant touches on this idea. He explores what made a company like Warby Parker, which is now worth over $1 billion, so successful. Grand cites not investing in the company when he had a chance as one of his biggest financial mistakes. Interestingly, Grant missed something fundamental. The fact that none of the founders were pursuing the opportunity full time, something Grant saw as a downside, was actually what enabled Warby Parker to thrive. The founding team took the financial pressure off and were able to focus on the business itself.

So now what I have paid tribute to all the Content Warriors Agency could have been and everything it taught me, what now? What’s next for me now?

1. I am on the lookout for freelance writing projects. So if you or someone you know is looking for a fierce word tamer who wrangles obstinate contestants, vowels and em dashes (AKA a copywriter), please hit me up. 
2. And because it’s me, I’m already working on another project. This time solo. It’s something I started working on long before we launched Content Warriors Agency and I’ve been thinking about it for years. But more details to follow soon.

If you’ve read this far: Thank you! Thank you for reading and for allowing me to be vulnerable. Now I’d love to hear from you. Have you failed at an entrepreneurial project? How did you overcome the failure? Did you embrace it? Did you sweep it under the carpet where you hoped no one would find it?