Overwhelmed by the need to make a decision? Start here.

Are you facing a big decision—or a period of uncertainty? Where to live, what job opportunities to pursue, whether to start a side hustle, whether to stay or go? We often face difficult choices and get conflicting, confusing advice.

Choices can be exciting, but they can also be overwhelming. So how do we move forward when the way isn’t clear?

For instance, sometimes we face two equally attractive (or intimidating) choices, and can’t decide between them. Seattle or Boston? At other times, we have to decide whether to continue on an existing path, or switch to a new one. Stay on a law track, or switch to an environmental field?

From grappling with questions like these over the years, I’ve hit on a Secret of Adulthood that helps me make wiser choices. I remind myself:

When uncertain how to proceed, make the choice that allows you to…

• Choose the bigger life

• Step into the future

• Live in an atmosphere of growth

• Deepen or broaden your relationships

• Put your values into the world

No matter what the situation, one or more of these five directives will tend to create clarity.

It’s true, though, that as I’ve talked to many people about their tough decisions, “Choose the bigger life” is the idea that seems to resonate most deeply. Somehow, even when two choices seem equivalent, the admonition to “Choose the bigger life” suddenly reveals that one choice is a clear winner.

This short video illustrates the idea:

The key thing: Only you can know what the “bigger life” is for you.

And that’s why the question is helpful. Each of us must decide for ourselves what the bigger life looks like.

• Move back to your hometown or head to the big city?

• Plan more education or jump into the job market?

• Keep climbing the career ladder or start your own business?

Different people would answer differently. We must try to understand ourselves.

Have you ever made a scary career decision that expanded your world? I'd love to hear your story in the comments!

This insight is just one of many from my new book "Secrets of Adulthood"—where I distill key lessons that help us live with greater satisfaction and clarity. Discover more at at gretchenrubin.com.

About the Author

Gretchen Rubin writes about habits, happiness, and human nature. Seven of her books were New York Times bestsellers, including Life in Five Senses and The Happiness Project. Her most recent book is Secrets of Adulthood.