Part 2: Making People Ask "Who Was That?" + Her Secret For Maintaining Relationships

Sherina Maye Edwards is on the board of directors of Midland States Bank, NorthWestern Energy, and Nexus Water Group. Sherina was previously on the board of INTREN, before being appointed the company's CEO. Sherina began her career as an attorney, specializing in securities claims and then business and consumer litigation. When she was appointed by the governor to the Illinois Commerce Commission, she was the youngest commissioner in the state.

So you got the commissioner role because you were “dancing while people weren’t watching’. But after that, the first and the second CEO were watching you. What do you think these women who were watching you saw in you that made them say ‘she should be on this board’ or ‘she should succeed me as CEO?’

"I'd like to say, ‘Oh my God, they thought I was so smart!.’ I don't think that's what it was. I think that I'm, smart, but I think I'm average smart. People say, ‘Oh, do you work hard? Or are you smart?’ That's just the baseline."

"It wasn't about being smart. I think for me, it’s when there is a problem, I can figure it out. Whether I have to use the information I have. Or whether I have to reach out to my lifeline to get the answer. Or if I have to use my own practical experiences to figure it out. The point is that that page is not getting turned until the ink is on it, right? I am driven. I am dedicated. I am persistent. And honestly, people don’t understand it, but I can't tell you enough how much this matters."

"I also have executive presence like none other.  I can be talking to you about something and I promise you, you will not know that I don't know what I'm talking about! Executive presence makes a difference."

"Nobody wants to hear from someone who's all hunched over and can't look you in your eyes. Nobody cares! If you are saying very few words but with your shoulders back, your head forward, you're looking somebody in the eye, you're warm, you're bubbly – that is half the battle. People love that and they appreciate it. And so often in business, unfortunately, you just don't see people doing that."

You are only in your 40’s. But you’ve already been on several corporate boards. I know that having been a CEO makes you very attractive to boards. Even so, how did you get your other board roles?

"Having been a CEO is a nice thing to have. But people really look at the full package. It’s all about the skills matrix and what the board’s gaps are. Customer experience? Digital marketing? It just depends."

"Of the board opportunities that have come my way, whether they are the boards I’m currently on or ones that I get called for, I would say 90 percent of them come through relationships. And then I would say the other 10 percent come through headhunters." 

We’ve talked about being transactional versus genuine in business relationships. Women seem to be better at building personal relationships. But men seem to be better at leveraging business relationships i.e. being transactional. If they go play golf with somebody, it's kind of understood that they're going to be talking business at some point. And they’re okay with it. Should we not try to do the same?

"I definitely think that men are more comfortable and confident when it comes to shooting their shot, so to speak. They will make the ask. I do a hundred percent believe that women are better at nurturing their relationships. However, they nurture and then they fall short of the ask."

"They don't want to feel like they're taking advantage of the other person. They don't want this person to think they’re using them. I think that many times women don't recognize that it's actually okay to make an ask."

"Also, women don't talk about themselves. They don't talk themselves up. Women can have a really difficult time tooting their own horn. I think it stems from thinking ‘I'm just going to be thankful to be here.’ But no! You should not just be thankful to be there. Be there and make it known that you're there."

"People ask me where my executive presence and my confidence comes from. I think it comes from the fact that I’m a Spelman woman. A Spelman woman is somebody who doesn't just walk through a room. You let people know that that room has been walked through. Sometimes women are fine with walking through the room; but you want people to be like ‘who was that?!’"

"It's like the tree in the forest. If it falls but nobody hears it, did it really fall? You need to let people know that you're here and that you're here to do something.  And women have got to get better at that."

Anything that I didn't ask that you'd like to add about networking and building business relationships?

"Here is something that I do. I take a block of time, usually about two hours at least every other week. I travel with note cards with my name on them. I have them everywhere I go, in my work bag, my travel bag, my desk."

"I keep a list of names on my phone. I could be in the supermarket and think, ‘Oh my God, I wonder how Shelly's doing?’ As I'm thinking of somebody, I add them to the list on my phone. During that two hour time block, I go right to the name at the top of the list and I write them a handwritten note and put it in the mail.  I write as many notes as I can get done in that two hour span."

"When I travel, I usually use the time in the air to write notes. I carry stamps. So when I land, I just drop them in the mail box. It’s easy way to keep in touch with people, and not because I want anything from them."

"It's really just a check in. And I tell you, the recipients are blown away every time!. Every single person is like, ‘Oh, my God. You just sent me this!’ Though emails and texts are fine too! I think there's something special about the human touch of getting a handwritten note in the mail."

"What do I say in the note? I Google the person and see what they've been up to. Maybe you spoke somewhere. Maybe you posted something on LinkedIn. So I might say ‘I saw this and it really inspired me.’ Or I may just say ‘I was thinking about you and hope things are going well. Hope to catch up soon.’ Or ‘Just wanted to let you know you were on my mind. I hope things are going really well.’ Simple as that."

"I never send notes with the intent of wanting anything. But when I tell you the response that I get?!"

"One time I actually did need something from someone who I had sent a note to six months earlier. I hadn't talked to her probably in two years. When I called her to ask for her help with something, she went on and on about this little teeny tiny note that I had sent her six months before. And she was like, ‘Whatever you need!’"

"I always say, don't wait until someone's LinkedIn status changes to make them relevant."