PEr Chronicles: You're either a battery or a black hole — Choose.

I confess: when I first heard that Pope Francis has died, my first thought was of Conclave. How closely will the real-life papal election echo the Oscar-winning movie?

The spirit of the conclave - reflection, letting go, growth – is captured in the saying — “Some people are for a season, others for a journey.” It’s about recognizing who still aligns with your values and path. Just as seasons are beautiful in their own way, these people bring memories, lessons, laughter. The conclave mindset encourages us to be thankful, not bitter, when chapters close and recommitting to those who walk the long road with you — your true circle.

You are going to get hurt. Period. Everyone who plays a significant role in your life is going to hurt you. I know sitting here right now, that I have been hurt by many people who are close to me, and I have also hurt them too.

Why are some people an absolute joy to be around? You know the ones: they leave you smiling, understood and cared for.  For a long time, I pondered that question, and perhaps you have too. Someone who comes off as “too perfect” can feel like fingernails on a blackboard to me. Some people can make me sick; others are rejuvenative. Nothing has captivated me more than those who make you feel special. They draw you in with their kindness and caring. We flock to such people and want to spend time with them.

What is it that makes them who they are? They seem to know what to say and what to do to earn trust, command respect, and positively inspire even the most jaded among us.

Attraction is often tied to appearance, IQ or bank accounts but real connection goes deeper. We attract people who mirror our current struggles and joys — love draws love, grumpiness draws grumpiness. The more positive energy we exude, the more we magnetize positivity. Unlike an on-off switch, think of it like a radio with a volume control, we can adjust our vibes, amp them up with some and tone down with others.

But don’t worry if you’re far from a positive place now. The quality of our relationships, not quantity, matters most. That means looking beyond a culture obsessed with popularity. High school can be hell for anyone “unpopular” — I, for one, felt painfully out of it. Thankfully as an adult, I realise that while it feels good to be liked, it can also become an addiction.

We are all starving to have the goodness in us acknowledged. Consider this experiment. Let’s say a coworker is snitty. Realise: happy people don’t act this way. So instead of being snitty back or constantly miffed, comment on what she is doing right – the long hours she puts in or her dynamite bags. I’m not saying to be phony but find a way to manoeuvre around a stumbling block. Use this approach for a week; watch the vibes change.

What results is more heart in your relationships. Aspire to this place. We can all get there.