Permission to Just BE

The holidays are here, bringing their usual blend of joy and chaos.

But there’s something else, too…a stillness. A natural lull as the world collectively takes a breath. 

And, if you’re anything like the women I work with, that stillness doesn’t feel like peace. It feels like pressure. 

Pressure to prove you’re still moving forward, even if rest and relaxation are warranted. Pressure to make the downtime worth something. Pressure to justify the space in your calendar by filling it with tasks, projects, or ideas that feel productive. 

It’s a familiar rhythm, especially for those who’ve spent years being the person others turn to, the one who always delivers. In corporate, constant motion was celebrated. Bursting calendars, endless to-do lists all created a sense of value, a tangible way to measure your worth. It's uncomfortable to have space where there aren’t any set expectations to perform.

I know this story well and here’s what I’ve learned:  Stillness isn’t the problem. 

It’s the stories we tell ourselves about it that create the discomfort. 

When the pace slows, there’s no busyness to distract us from the inner critic. And ooh baby she loves an idle moment!

Why aren’t you doing more?

What if you’re falling behind?

Shouldn’t you be working harder to make this happen? 

The inner critic convinces us we’re stuck, that rest is laziness, that doing more is the only way to matter.

But she’s wrong because we aren’t human doings. We’re human beings. 

It’s in the quiet moments that we reconnect with ourselves, the version of us that exists beyond the work, the to-do lists, and the drive to prove our worth. 

I know this feels unnatural. Maybe even impossible. So when that critic gets loud, here are a few ways I’ve learned to soften her voice:  

• Name the critic: Acknowledge that voice. It’s not you; it’s just an old pattern trying to protect you in a way that no longer serves you. 
• Turn down the noise: Start with gratitude. Small, simple things. A warm cup of tea, the sparkle of holiday lights, the sound of laughter nearby. 
• Redefine progress: Pause and look back. Where were you six months ago? A year ago? You’re further than you think. 
• Invite movement: Take a slow walk, stretch, or dance like no one’s watching. Let your body remind your mind that energy flows in many ways. 
• Create without purpose: Write, doodle, bake, or daydream. Give yourself permission to make something just because you can, not because anyone is expecting you to.
• Rest: Rest your body and your brain. They have been serving you nonstop. Allow yourself to release all tension and stress as much as you can. 

The real magic of stillness is that it makes space for clarity. For ideas that don’t feel rushed. For connection to who you are, not what you do. 

You’re not falling behind because you rest. You’re allowing an opening for what’s next. 

So this season, give yourself the gift of being over doing. Be messy. Be still. Be exactly as you are. And know that the ground hasn’t disappeared beneath you. It’s just waiting for you to stop long enough to feel it again. 

Wishing you peace, joy, and light this holiday season. 

xo, 

KG