The Power of Perception: Overcoming Mental Barriers

In this day and age, with so much social media in our lives, have you ever caught yourself seeing other amazing humans achieving great success? You're proud and cheering them on, when suddenly your mind turns on you and says, “Hey, maybe you could be doing more?”

Today, I needed to take a step back and reflect on the journey that has been the last couple years, with excitement and anticipation for the unknown and what is to come. Reflecting on my past, I feared the unknown; now I find it so bloody exciting.   

I used to be very goal oriented. Everything was about the end result, achieving the mission and purpose. How good does it feel to accomplish what you set out to achieve? Is there any better feeling? But back then, I didn’t tend to enjoy the journey or process, because it was all about the end result. This approach dictated my life for 40 years, till something changed. I put a stop to that a couple years ago, after hitting rock bottom, not recognizing the man I saw in the mirror. My life hadn’t turned out the way I thought it was supposed to, so I made a change. I stopped focusing on the long-term goal and started enjoying the journey. I began to celebrate and enjoy each and every milestone, no matter how big or small, to fully immerse myself in the experience, every step of the way. Boy, has my life changed! Just three years ago, I had no idea what I even wanted to do with my life. There is no way I could imagine being where I am today, doing what I’m doing. I still regularly pinch myself, asking, “Is this actually real?”

For most of you we have only recently met, and you would probably be shocked to hear that just 12 months ago, no one knew who I was as I was still coming out of my shell, after hiding for over 40 years. In fact, I had never shared a single photo of myself online till June 2024!

I started 2025 judging myself, feeling discombobulated and all over the place, needing to take time out to find my feet, whilst others were working away. I thought I should be physically doing more. Yet, in those moments, I gave myself permission to just be. To allow myself to feel what I was feeling. To stop judging myself for needing time out. I stopped fighting the process, followed my intuition, and went with the flow. 

It's challenging being middle-aged, with skills and expertise, but entering a whole new and foreign professional world. Ultimately starting from reference point zero, zero. However, when these judgments and self-doubts come into my mind, I remind myself where I have come from. I compare where I am to where I was just 3, 6, 12 months ago. It brings things into perspective. If mental illness taught me one thing, it's that our eyes see only a very small fragment of a story. What is exactly in front of us, with no idea what goes on behind the scenes. The truth is, this version of me didn’t exist two years ago.

It's hard to believe, but just three years ago, I didn’t speak a word about my challenges with my Nevus (birthmark). Not at all. Not even in private with those closest to me. It's funny when you think about it, something on public display for all to see, yet I never wanted to talk about it. Unbeknownst to me, I was living in survival mode. It's how I coped my entire life. I simply didn’t know any different; it was my norm.

15-20% of the population are living in survival mode, that’s approx. 1 in 5 people!!!

Now, I openly discuss and share my deepest secrets on a global stage. Not because I want to be in the spotlight, but because of how liberating I have found finding freedom within myself to be. The elation of facing and overcoming my own personal fears. A person who is now allowing himself to be seen. No more hiding or shame. Just freedom to be me. I have been shown that we all hold the key to my own freedom, no one else. When we can overcome our own mental perceived barriers, we can open doors to endless possibilities.

 In 2022

- An amazing human, extend a hand and showed me a different way forward. A single moment in time when my world shifted its trajectory. I found my voice.

In 2023

- The idea presented and I commenced writing my autobiography, to share my story in the hope of helping others overcome their challenges and adversity, to experience the freedoms I was starting to embrace and enjoy.

In 2024

- With mentoring and guidance, I launched my business and website, www.stevenbouris.com

- I shared my story in the US. Finding my fellow Nevus Family, through Nevus Outreach

- I joined PSA - Professional Speakers Australia – Melbourne chapter, finding my tribe

In 2025

- After two extensions to my autobiography in 2024, my final draft of The Resilience Journey, was completed

- With my business mentor Peter Jess’ guidance, I commenced setting up a not-for-profit Nevus Foundation in Australia for the local community.

- I welcomed 8 directors with a diverse range of profession and lived experience skill sets. 7 of the 8 board members, I had just met or crossed paths in the past 9 months

- In March, was offered the cover and lead article for a magazine in the US.

- Nevus Foundation Australasia was named, were in the process of reviewing our constitution, in preparation of lodging documentation to ASIC, ACNC (Australian Charities and Not-for-profit Commission) and ATO for approval.

- I’m co-hosting my first event in Melbourne in April, in-conjunction with Nevus Outreach, to bring the Australian Nevus community together, and announce the launce of Nevus Foundation Australasia.

- I have been offered the opportunity to share my story, to the global leaders of Nevus and related organisations, uniting in Prague, from all over the world.

Could I be doing more? Remember, when your mind turns on you, questioning if your doing enough, stop looking at others journeys and celebrate how far you have come and grown over the last 3, 6 & 12 months. The only fair comparison is you against you. Sometimes it’s not growth in a physical work and achievement scenes, but growth in who we are as a human, on a mental and emotion level.

With lots of amazing things going on, I can still judge myself for not doing enough. Another invaluable lesson mental illness taught me, is for me to best serve those around me, I need to first and foremost look after my mental health and wellbeing, listening to my body and what it needs, without judgement!

The journey ahead is filled with endless possibilities, but it all starts with us taking care of the most crucial part of the equation: ourselves. By prioritizing our mental health and well-being, you’re not only preparing yourself for the exciting future but also ensuring that you can fully embrace and enjoy every moment. Remember, the only fair comparison is you against yourself. Celebrate your growth, cherish your milestones, and always be kind to yourself. The future is bright, and it's yours to seize.

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