Practicing Complete Acceptance

The human experience can sometimes be challenging, even for the most optimistic people like me, when we face one obstacle after another and deal with difficult emotions such as hurt, disappointment, sadness, and frustration.  Typical reactions are either to shut down completely (victimhood) or to respond with frustration and anger (antagonism), both of which are lower-level energies that might serve us temporarily but, when experienced over an extended period, become unhealthy and unproductive, eventually leading to greater mental health challenges such as depression or burnout. 

As a coach, I know of a better way to deal with setbacks, called ‘complete acceptance’ of circumstances. Acceptance means giving in to what is, receiving information as facts we cannot control instead of labeling it as ‘bad news’ or ‘bad luck.’

Ever since last August, when I decided to move back to Europe after 27 years of residing in the US, I feel like the Universe has tested whether I am serious about my decision, demanding evidence through constant trials and tribulations. For example, the recent information that the container with my earthly belongings is delayed by at least four weeks. I only hope and pray that the container is not on one of the vessels stuck in the Baltimore harbor. 

I could have said that I received one piece of ‘bad news’ after another (the delayed shipment is only the cherry on the cake; there have been ample other events that challenged my patience and resilience), turning me into a victim, a role I refuse to take. 

‘No complaints, no excuses’ was the motto of my CrossFit gym in Massachusetts, that I have personally tried to follow and apply. Excuses are a means of dealing with one’s own shortcomings, and complaints are outward expressions of frustration, blaming others. They perfectly describe the lower levels of energy I mentioned earlier. Instead, I choose to accept what is. 

Acceptance is unlike resignation, which carries defiance and resistance to the circumstances with it, kind of like the middle-finger attitude.  Acceptance allows us to move forward, and that is exactly what I am doing. 

So what if I am ‘glamping’ for a little while with my dog Boone in my newly found apartment?  It might be an inconvenience, but it is not a tragedy.  I continue to believe in the bright future ahead of me and am grateful for the massive support I have received from my family and friends. 

If you, too, have been dealing with a lot lately and want to learn more about complete acceptance, email me at angela@belladonnacareercoach.com.