Pretty Pained

What if I told you pain could be pretty, not a pity. And tears that we cry don't actually go waste but we can store them to replenish each other like rain drops if we looked at them differently?

Pain can be a complex and multifaceted experience, what could be a minor accident for someone could be traumatic to another ; physical or emotional/spiritual. All of us have been pained. It's not a new emotion or feeling much like happiness, love or success, jealousy, insecurity or feeling left out even (you get the drift). They're all as unique, as we are, as human beings. We know that. But do we understanding that we're all on the same sphere, experiencing life, interdependent on each other in this realm but at our own unique wavelengths? Have we ever wondered why someone else's trauma may feel smaller to us than our own, or how a few of us are stronger than we'd expect them to be in certain situations? Why do we not celebrate growth through grift like we celebrate spinning another year around the sun (read birthday). 

What if we changed how we looked at pain not just as an emotion we don't like to bring up but envision it like a tree (confetti). One where the more you water, the more leaves we have and the more leaves that fall (back on the ground) become the food for the soil infused with all that was taught for more learned leaves to grow back with fruits and flowers and new breeds we may learn about in the future.

It is critical to consciously remind ourselves when experiencing any interaction we are having with each other - family, friends or even strangers that we're all here being tested to push ourselves to grow through this realm/sphere we find ourselves in and not stay stuck in this wave length we are born in all our lives. It defeats the purpose of being human - of being given life, human life - the highest form of one's spiritual, emotional and physical test the universe puts us through. More so when experiencing common human emotions (such a pain, sticking to context) that we don't talk about for reasons fairly ill-logical ; taboo, weakness, who has the time to loop on sad things, why be so negative...the list is long. Trained for generations, we rather isolate not just the human experiencing it by further training through action and word both the mind and heart in pain to push this emotion in a corner. A corner so deep down air tight into a molecule size through constant practice of pushing through applied strength and consistent denial mechanisms we're trained by people who may not have realised nothing that comes to us is a lesson we are being tested through ; 1) it either manifests itself in a miracle we may make out of it by working through the learnings or 2) kills us by turning into cancer and ending human life for failing this test we're put in.  

Why do we not talk about pain? Why are we not having pain meets? Or like, pain-seminars, or pain-fests (think we meet over a drink, floral table settings, open lawns and green grass with benches in the open) and just talk about what pained us? I slipped and broke a few bones - I felt pain sitting with someone who lost a job and felt lost sharing a bench with someone who lost love and finds themselves alone and sad, or just not happy? Why do we not hush being in pain? Why are we so against learning from what individual pains are teaching each one of us and when we find even one more person who may have in common with us how the pain was induced but coping differently, why are we not sharing notes? 

If we’re all chasing the moments that take our breath away to celebrate with each other eventually why are not working together through the moments where the pain is so intense that we don’t even want to breathe? Could the secret to finding happiness in every breath we take lie between helping someone cope with something without just letting them stay alone while they search inwards or within the world for answers? Could just letting someone who feels sad, alone, broken, lost be in company (read - not alone) reassure them that they don’t have to be isolated to grow through this experience they’re gifted with, much like we don’t leave anyone on their birthday or anniversary? What if we were put here in such large numbers irrespective of our gender and religion for each one of us to connect to each other to teach not tear down, learn but not leech on, develop not destroy. 

Pain can be very distressing and affect an individual's emotional and psychological well-being. We know that, but do we comprehend that? Do we recognise what we’re doing to push someone through their pain to a place they’re being tested to arrive at like we teach/tutor our children at school to never fail a test at school? Or how we keep changing coaches, hands and minds to help an athlete win an olympic medal. Or do we wait for them to ‘calm’ down on their own? Do we isolate them till the pull themselves back in to a place we can have fun with again? Is there a rule about experiencing happiness together but pain alone? I don’t think so. I could be wrong but I am sure, much like this opinion I have there could be those who’s pain may have taught them otherwise and I am open to learn, so I don’t find myself not aware of what to do when I find pain in me, or someone I may find on this journey to support when they came to me/or I found them, in a park on a bench, alone…because that’s what happens at least in the world I live in today, when we spot someone alone they’d rather be left there alone or dare not open up afraid of being judged, pushed into a spiritual or religious cult, mindlessly be forced into therapy (all good schools of thought but like each individual pain the experience to choose where the learning should come from should be individual too), or to find little happiness. 

Why are we not reminding each other (because we know it to be true) that even in pain, be grateful. Look for the learning. Teach me what you may have arrived at. Some may find their spiritual path, some grow a stronger core with a dedicate new found strength to grow a health regime. Some establish million dollar businesses and some give up their jobs to travel the world. Whatever comes with pain should be talked about for more people to be prepared on how to deal with ‘pain’. Why isolate then what we all must endure?