The Problem With Likable People

I once called my friend and colleague George up and asked, "Wait, is [my boss at the time] a really good judge of character?" And George laughed. A lot. In that way George laughs that signals to you there's nothing further from the truth. Like me, my boss was an optimist, and saw the very best in people. But ONLY the best.

On the surface, you'd think you'd want people to be likable. And sure, technically, you want people to be KIND, but that's not the same. Because "likable" can sometimes mean "goes out of their way to be likable" or "uses that likability to mask other potential issues."

(Hint: it's that last part.)

Work is Not a Pageant

Sometimes, as leaders, we accidentally judge likable people higher than their actual skill level, their capabilities, and their strategic worth. "I feel good when I talk with ___" can mask the realization "but if I were judging on paper just how much they're doing, they're a little light on meaningful work performed." That's the issue.

"Get along with others" is often a trait we think we want coworkers to have. Again, kindness is one thing. Investing in likability feels to me like a whole different level of effort and one that rarely benefits the business at large.

The risk is that people who care about likability judge success based on whether everyone is happy with everyone else, instead of actually moving objectives along. A person who lists a lot of their accolades as "served on ___ committee" and not a lot on "completed ___" and "delivered ___" is the risk.

Velocity and Effectiveness

When faced with assessing a team, it's easy to rank your "feel good" people higher than your workhorses, especially if those same workhorses aren't quite as personable. And yet, if you looked for finished work -- not just work one has been assigned -- then you might see a stark contrast from the likable to the ones you don't think of as particularly nice or highly social.

I called this subsection "velocity and effectiveness," because I've caught an observable flaw in likable people: they tend to go slowly towards their objectives. They time projects out to be longer. They eat a lot of meeting time for very little yield. They also tend to write up flourishing accounts of their achievements that read long on a page, but if you tally up the actual payload, fall short of much measurable value. Like, their "to do" list often has "cross of completed to-dos" as a task on it, if you take my meaning.

Objective Measures Matter

Everyone has their value. A likable person can help cross-functional teams insofar as earning some favor and positive response. And some likable people are also very good at their role. My caution comes because I see many people mistake "likable" with "good."

Having helped executives and senior leaders tune their teams over the last four years, I've seen a lot of conflation between likable and useful. It's important to be able to find the useful people, because likable ones aren't necessarily going to bring your organization to its next level.

"Kind" and "good at their job" and "effective" are three great traits. "Likable," I don't value all that much.

Your mileage may vary, but I doubt it.

Chris...