Psst… I have a counsellor.
You read right: I have a counsellor, i.e. a therapist i.e. someone I talk to as I try to work through / process experiences I go through or emotions I may have.
But no, I don’t have any major mental illness I can point to (at least right now, as far as I’m aware.) I speak to her for my mental and emotional health, you see.
World Mental Health Day has come rolling by, and I thought I’d do the least I can: help normalise the idea of having a counsellor, and dispel some misconceptions people may have about it.
Short Flashback: My Story
Rewind the clock to 5-6 years ago: I couldn’t quite imagine what it means to speak to a counsellor before I did. I was open to the idea and had toyed with the idea, but the question was, “What would I talk to them about? It’s so weird to just talk about myself to someone… and it’s not like I have something specific to say.”
And then I got the opportunity: a friend of mine was going through something, and I felt out of my depth to help, and so I offered, “let me speak with a counsellor and I’ll tell you what they say.”
I found time with a counsellor via an online service, a call was set up on Skype. I found the person on the other side warm, personable and attentive. She listened to my friend’s situation and offered some thoughts (eventually, they spoke directly on a phone call). But in that conversation, about half a hour in, I asked something out of curiosity, something that turned the lens on my own thought processes, and I ended up reflecting and learning something about myself. Six months later, I had some experience that petrturbed me and so to ask, I turned to her… and eventually, it became a muscle to reach out to my counsellor when troubled.
About a year ago, I remember speaking to her and her saying, “Don’t use therapy as crisis management. Let’s set up time more regularly to speak.” And so, today, I have someone who knows the long arc of my journey and has context, and I can turn to when I need guidance; and I keep her updated as things evolve.
Why am I sharing this?
I have personally evolved and worked through knotty inner dilemmas with the help of a counsellor.
I have friends who I have introduced to my counsellor / have nudged to find one for themselves, and it has helped them through tough times.
And finally, I have met those who may benefit from having a therapist / counsellor to speak to, but have just not been aware of the concept. Especially for those in the development sector, caring deeply for the cause and their colleagues, it becomes incredibly important.
And so, I typed up this note as another drop in an ocean of examples, to let you know: you don’t have to use therapy only for crisis management. You can try it when things are good too (see “preventive maintenance”).
What I’ve learnt / what I can share:
To close, sharing a few pointers that may help:
And this should go without saying - but do take care of your food, sleep and sources of rejuvenation as best as you can!
Take care, and be well.
Learner | Career Counsellor | Career Analyst | L&D Consultant | Empowering Career Journeys | Corporate Training Specialist | CSR Training | DEI Enthusiast
1yGirish A.anarayanan , you have beautifully explained the need for a therapist or counsellor! I am sure a lot of people would benefit from this. Kudos to the work you are doing!
Product @ Walmart | Ex-Curefit | ISB
1ySuccinctly put Girish! Agree on all points- especially the one about therapy not being just crisis management. I personally think of therapy as a form of coaching :D Also, we will never control how others feel by our actions and words. Best we can do is proceed with the best of intentions and try to channel our own emotions effectively - you’re right journaling helps tremendously!
Chief Executive Officer, Peepul; Social Entrepreneur working on education quality improvement; Mulago Rainer Fellow; Board Member, Mighty Ally; Board Member, AVPN India
1y#2/2: (ran out of character limit!) And, along the way, to be kind, generous and empathetic to others, to be understanding and see the world from another person's shoes and to perhaps be aware that others' need for therapy often comes from other human beings they interact with. And, if we could all be better human beings and be cognizant of that, maybe there will be less pain and suffering. Interesting point about how the brain can perhaps fool our memories. I'm not entirely sure of that - perhaps it is based on the lens and perspective that one has at a certain period and how one's own self-development might lead to different interpretations at different points of time. Plus, the brain itself is a complicated instrument. I remember the saying: "The mind is a place where the soul goes to hide from the heart".
Chief Executive Officer, Peepul; Social Entrepreneur working on education quality improvement; Mulago Rainer Fellow; Board Member, Mighty Ally; Board Member, AVPN India
1y#1/2: Perhaps another perspective here (that may or may not be useful) is to also, on Mental Health Day, to be conscious of the impact of one's own actions on others' mental health. Very often, and with many individuals increasingly espousing a 'self' based view of the world, we forget the connections amongst people and dependencies of emotion that one person's actions may have on another's. One person's mental peace may destroy another person's mental well-being and I think it's important to keep those dependencies in mind when working through issues with a counselor. External circumstances could shape inner dilemmas and issues but, perhaps, vice versa as well. I completely agree with you that therapy is extremely important and needed to help resolve issues, work through them and grow. Equally important, I think, is the internalization that self-growth also comes from reflection and a deeply personal journey with the inner self, about the kind of human being one is and wants to be.
Getting good people the right kind of deserved attention for their amazing work.
1yHugely important for men to normalize seeking mental health support as part of efforts to fight dangerous stigma. Well done, Girish. Your piece will encourage many people to reflect on their own situation and prejudices and I'm pleased you wrote and had the courage to post it. Kudos.