Redefining Success: Why Letting Go of My Dream Career Was the Ultimate Win

I think the moment of truth for me came in those micro-moments of introspection—you know, when your mind drifts off on a little thinking adventure. The moments when I realized: this job, this day, this routine… this is what I’m going to be doing for the rest of my life.

I wasn’t sure I liked that idea. Not because I believe someone can’t be happy doing the same thing for an entire career, but because to do so, you either need to be deeply passionate about it or simply love routine and stability—which is perfectly fine if that’s what brings you peace and joy. But for me, that wasn’t it. I didn’t feel the passion. The spark. The devotion that would make me want to stick to this profession forever.

Do you know what the sunk cost fallacy is? It’s a cognitive bias where people continue an endeavor simply because they’ve already invested time, money, or effort into it—even if the evidence suggests it’s not the best path. Essentially, we struggle to “cut our losses” because admitting we took the wrong path feels like admitting failure. And I get it.

First, there’s the ego hit—acknowledging that maybe we made a mistake. Then, the self-doubt—feeling stupid for not noticing a better alternative earlier. What if I had chosen to study IT instead? (I think that question has traveled through the minds of 90% of the architects in my generation). And then, the biggest hurdle: change itself.

The word “change” can be terrifying. Because let’s be honest, shifting careers isn’t just a logistical nightmare—it’s an identity crisis. I mean, I could barely drag myself from the sofa after work; how was I supposed to rebuild myself from scratch? At this age? After all these years of investment?

But here’s what I’ve learned: change is a blessing. Sometimes, it’s a blessing in disguise, but it is always a blessing. Because that moment when you dare to step outside the expectations of the world around you—when you stop chasing external validation and start asking who you truly are—that moment can set you free. It can take you from an okay life to a great, authentic one.

And that’s when I realized something even deeper.

The moment I dared to leave my identity as an architect behind was incredibly powerful. It was the moment I proved to myself that I am not my career—or at least, that I am much more than a title. And that realization led me to explore what that more truly was.

Because let me tell you, the first time I asked myself, Who am I? and the only answer that came to mind was, I am an architect!—that moment freaked me out. The fact that I didn't know how to define myself beyond my job title? That didn’t feel good.

For years, I went through deep introspection, peeling back the layers of external validation and expectations. And in doing so, I found something more valuable than a title—I found my truth, my authenticity.

And here’s the thing—you’re not actually leaving everything behind. You’re integrating the best parts of your past into something even more aligned with your future. In my case, I now understand that what led me to architecture wasn’t just design—it was my love for creativity, understanding people’s needs, and finding solutions. And that passion? That’s exactly what I now bring into my coaching.

So now, let me ask you:

• Have you ever questioned whether your career truly reflects who you are?

• Do you feel like your identity is tied to your job title? If so, who are you beyond that?

• Is the sunk cost fallacy keeping you from making a change that could bring you greater fulfillment?

• If you removed all external expectations, what would you really want to do?

If you’re feeling that same pull—if you’re questioning whether the path you’re on is truly yours—I want you to know that you don’t have to figure it out alone. Through authenticity coaching, we can explore your confidence, purpose, and balance to help you define the path that’s truly yours. The one that will give you the strength, clarity, and self-validation to create a life you love—a career you thrive in.

Because success isn’t just about staying the course. Sometimes, it’s about daring to redefine it entirely.