The Redemption Journey: Celebrating the Art of Failing Forward with Neuroscience.

Twenty long years—two decades of failure, re-examination, persistence, patience, perseverance and getting better. And then, just like that, I was an overnight success. Becoming amazing every day. It took me 20 years to become an overnight success. This journey, intertwined with mistakes and mishaps, led me to a profound realisation: failure isn't the end; it's the beginning of something extraordinary. A crucible for character. A testament to the theme of redemption. Throughout my personal and professional life, I’ve met with errors, with seemingly insurmountable challenges. But like a phoenix, I found rebirth in the ashes of my failures.

I failed massively in so many ways, but never gave up. To borrow the words of Michael Jordan,

I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

As humans, we are biologically hardwired to avoid pain. The thought of failing, of not measuring up, can be paralysing. Neuroscience has shown that our brains react to failure similarly to physical pain. But here's where the magic happens: neuroplasticity allows our brains to reshape, relearn, and rebound.

So, when Oasis sang, "So I start a revolution from my bed / 'Cos you said the brains I had went to my head," it wasn’t just poetic—there was a scientific truth hidden within.

But how do we reframe failure? How do we shift our mindset and welcome it not as a dreaded enemy but a wise mentor?

Here's a roadmap to redemption:

1. Grieve, but then Move On: Emotions are natural. Feel them, embrace them, but then, as Oasis rightly said, “Don’t look back in anger.” Allow yourself a moment—a day, a week, but after that, rise.
2. Reflect with Honesty: "Slip inside the eye of your mind." Recognize the failure, process it, but then understand that, in the grand tapestry of life, it's just one thread. It doesn't define the entire picture.
3. Lean on Others: Remember Otis Reading’s poignant lines, "Try a little tenderness"? Talk. Share. Express. Remember, in vulnerability, there’s strength.
4. Dust Yourself and Begin Again: Persistence is the key. As the adage goes, it's not about how many times you fall but how many times you get back up. Keep on keeping on.
5. Celebrate the Wins: For every failure, there's a win—sometimes evident, sometimes hidden. Find it. Cherish it.
6. Detach Emotion from Event: "Don’t make it personal." Remember, a failure in an event doesn't translate to a failure in character.
7. Embrace a Fresh Perspective: Mistakes are lessons. With every lesson learned, you inch closer to success.

In business and in life, the road will often be jagged, filled with hurdles. But it's not the smooth roads that make great drivers; it's the bumpy ones. So, whether you're just starting your journey or finding yourself in the throes of a challenge, remember, failure is just a stepping stone.

In the realm of dreams and success, a fine line exists between the winners and those who fold under pressure. This line is marked by a vital component: discipline. It's not just about setting your sights on the horizon; it's about building the bridge to reach it. Perseverance and discipline, undoubtedly, separate the winners from the rest. But why do some exhibit an insurmountable amount of discipline while others easily waver? The answer lies not only in determination but also in our brain's unique chemistry.

Understanding Dopamine: The Reward Molecule 

Dopamine, often referred to as the "reward molecule," plays a critical role in our drive to achieve. Neuroscientific research illuminates how higher dopamine levels contribute to greater discipline and persistence. These heightened levels foster the creation of life-enhancing habits, such as resilience and self-regulation.

A landmark study in 2011 unveiled that dopamine receptors function as gateways pivotal to pattern formation. These dopamine neurons influence circuits throughout the brain and need regulation. When we achieve biologically essential goals - be it eating, mating, sleeping, or enduring physically - our internal reward system douses us in dopamine, producing a rush of euphoria and contentment.

 Our evolutionary design, aimed at seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, is wired to reward survival habits. Every accomplishment, from grand milestones to daily tasks like making your bed, releases dopamine bursts. This act, simple as it seems, can elicit immense satisfaction, further propelling us to break challenges into tangible micro-goals, rewarding ourselves with a consistent flow of dopamine. 

To truly tap into this chemical reservoir, one must develop routines and strategies:

1. Set Clear Deadlines: Establish self-imposed deadlines and ensure you stick to them. Regularly achieving them can release consistent dopamine doses, curbing the harmful cycle of procrastination.
2. Break Large Goals into Smaller Tasks: A monumental task can be daunting. But by breaking it into manageable chunks, each step taken can elicit a rewarding dopamine release.
3. Develop a Success List: Moving away from the conventional 'to-do' list, curate a list of accomplishments for the day. As each task is ticked off, the dopamine surge reinforces the satisfaction derived from achievement.
4. Engage in Stimulating Activities: Engage in brain-teasing games or puzzles. Each time you solve one, dopamine rewards your achievement, ensuring your reserves remain robust.
5. Accountability Partners: Team up with someone who shares your goals. Hold each other accountable, ensuring neither wavers from their path

So, the next time an excuse threatens to derail you, challenge its validity. The true test lies in conquering the internal barriers, reframing discipline not as a painful duty but a doorway to unparalleled pleasure and success. In essence, discipline and determination shouldn't be burdensome. View them as gateways to hedonic experiences, boosting your confidence and well-being.

 As humans, our design requires us to continually strive and get biologically rewarded for our efforts. The unfortunate reality is that if you don't consistently achieve, dopamine reserves deplete, leading to apathy and lack of motivation.

The downward spiral that follows can be overwhelming. But the silver lining remains - you have the power to overturn it. Tap into those reserves, reward yourself, and continually stimulate your mind.

Be amazing, every day.

Don’t look back in anger, I heard Tim say. Never give up.

Tim Dingle BSc (Hons), PGCE, MBA, Mediator has been involved in education, management and training for the last 40 years. Tim is a former Headmaster of a top school and gained an MBA with a distinction. His dissertation was on body language and interview skills. He has a unique insight into teaching, leadership and management and has now written 26 books on a variety of topics including motivation, leadership, education, training, communication, interview success and business. His background in management also includes being the Chairman of England Schools Rugby and is an active member of the RFU and MCC. His academic pedigree (in Biology, Teaching and Business) combined with his mediation skills, gained him a place on the Board of the Global Negotiation Insight Institute (which used to be the Harvard Negotiation project). He has lectured all around the world with keynote speeches at many national and international events. His facilitation skills are in constant use for difficult and complex problems. His work in the hospitality sector is making a massive impact and he is dedicated to making everyone feel empowered, successful and making training fun. He is a speaker, trainer, coach and mentor: inspiring people to be amazing every day.