Rediscovering Joy Without Guilt: Allowing Light Back In After Loss
Lisa McFarland
Empowering Grievers | Helping You Heal Through Connection, Compassion, and Transformation | Community Host @ Scars2Medals
When you’ve walked through deep loss, joy can feel… complicated.
You might find yourself laughing at something and suddenly stop — overcome with guilt. You may go an entire day without crying and wonder, Does this mean I’m forgetting them? You might feel moments of peace—and then question if you're allowed to.
Here’s the truth: Joy doesn’t mean you’ve stopped grieving. Joy doesn’t mean you’ve moved on. Joy doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten.
It means you're human. And healing.
The Beautiful Truth: Grief and Joy Can Coexist
Grief is love with nowhere to go. And joy is love that rises again. They’re not opposites—they’re companions.
You can cry one hour and smile the next. You can honor your loved one and also allow yourself to live fully. You can miss them with your whole heart—and still have space in that heart for happiness.
Letting light back in doesn’t erase your pain. It reminds you that you’re still here. Still capable of feeling. Still alive.
Releasing Guilt Around Joy
Many grieving hearts struggle with guilt:
“If I’m happy, does that mean I didn’t love them enough?”
“How can I laugh when they’re gone?”
“Is it too soon to enjoy anything again?”
But here’s a gentle reminder: Your loved one would want you to keep living. To find meaning. To smile again. To carry them with you—not as a shadow, but as light.
Joy isn’t a betrayal. It’s a brave act of healing.
Joy doesn’t have to arrive with fanfare. It can come softly. Quietly. In the smallest of ways:
The warmth of morning sun on your face
A memory that brings laughter instead of tears
The rhythm of your breath during a peaceful walk
Creating something, cooking something, feeling something again
These tiny moments are signs that your heart, though cracked, is still open. Still growing. Still capable of beauty.
Your Joy Is Sacred, Too
In grief, we often focus so much on the pain (and understandably so) that we forget joy is sacred, too.
It doesn’t mean you’re done grieving. It means you’re finding ways to carry your grief and your life.
At Scars 2 Medals, we believe healing is not about forgetting — it’s about remembering with love, and choosing to live in a way that honors what you’ve lost and what you still have.
If you’re ready to rediscover joy — even just a little — know that you don’t have to do it alone. We’ll walk with you.
With hope and gentleness,
Namaskaram 🦋
Lisa
Have you ever caught yourself feeling joy in the middle of grief—and questioned if it was okay? What helped you begin to welcome joy back in?
Please share in the comments — I’d love to hear from you. 💬
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5moGrief can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t mean joy is off-limits. Healing is a journey, and allowing ourselves to experience happiness along the way is part of honoring the love and memories we carry with us.