Relationships? But it's LinkedIn!? 😱

Recently, I've seen and heard many people going through relationship dramas - personal and professional connections. After nearly 11 years of marriage and helping a bunch of couples with their own relationships, we’ve learnt some things. It might (results not guaranteed 😜😂) save that next blinder of an argument, so thought I’d share a bit...

1. My wife Jaime and I are different (oh man we’re different 😂 but won’t bore you with the detail) - one biggy is that I want to feel trusted and respected. Jaime wants to feel loved and appreciated - the trick is working out what that actually means. 
2. Got kids? Put them first? Yeahhhhh... but nah! By putting each other first IS putting the kids first. Took some time to realise the importance of this for us. 
3. On that note... date nights are underrated. Deliberately put time aside for you two. Without the kids. Whether it’s a weekend away, or fish and chips on the beach - book that babysitter and get on that date. Devices down, sit, talk, discuss - our conversations in these times are so much deeper and future focused. 
4. Communicate! You have got to be on the same page. And communication is not just telling them what you want to say. It’s listening to understand and then taking time to understand their perspective - it’s only then that you really know that what you said was received the way you meant it to be.
5. Communicate 2.0! You know when you’ve had an argument, and now you can hear a pin drop ANNNND now you don’t even know what you were arguing about and don’t know what to say? Well, say just that. “I don’t even know what to say....” It works.... I mean you might start arguing again, but you’re closer to getting it sorted...and if you do start arguing again, try point 6.
6. Communicate 3.0! Pause, think, then respond. Easier said than done I know. But practice it. Will take the heat out of your otherwise fiery response. Could have avoided a few blinders if we had learnt this a bit earlier. 😂
7. Communicate 4.0! Be quick to say sorry! No one wants to be held back during the day with their mind consumed about what was said and done and have home time to look forward to. Yay. (Not speaking from experience 🤥😂) Say sorry and move on 🙂 
8. Communicate 5.0! The line “Can we just forget about all of that and move on?” has done us some good during those times where you just don’t even know what’s going on and all you’re trying to do is determine who is at fault. Some things are so pointless, they’re best forgotten. And by forgotten I mean not brought back up three weeks later in the next argument. 😉 (I would never do that! Well not anymore 😉😂)
9. Constantly arguing? Feeling like you’re on a different page? Feeling misunderstood? Know that you’re not alone - far from it. We’ve realised after helping many couples that the battles are crazy similar across the board. It’s not the end of the world. You will get through it and you will be better for it.
10. Like with anything that you want to succeed - you need to invest time and effort into it, be deliberate and purposeful in what you’re doing to be able to achieve what you want to achieve. Don’t kick back, relax or keep yourself busy with work, business, your career or study and then wonder why you’re drifting apart after a couple years. 

Ultimately we've come to realise that if we are good then we're goooood! Meaning if Jaime and I are good, it doesn’t matter what’s going on around us, what struggles we're facing or what pressure we're under. If the two of us are good, then we’re good!

To those thinking marriage tips on LinkedIn is a bit of a random post...is it? I've always thought to get the most out of people you need to allow them to bring their whole unique selves to the office. So see this as my attempt at bringing a part of me to the LinkedIn world that makes up a large reason why I am the way I am and why I say, act and think they way I do!

That’s all for now 😂 Thank you for coming to my TED talk 😂 #WatchThisSpace #SomethingsComing 😉