The Resilience Advantage: From Avoidance to Authority in Leadership Communication. Part III
Ryan S. Gallik
I help leaders cultivate organizational resilience, redefine their impact, and lead with purpose and compassion in every workplace.
Practical Strategies to Foster Trust, Drive Engagement, and Lead with Confidence.
This is part III in the series on communication based on our experience with the Harrison Assessment.
You may have seen it before…
→ the manager who seems aloof and detached for some reason and that people have a hard time getting to know, much less respect.
Why does this happen?
I remember my business partner Michael Stahl sharing a story about a manager who fit this description. This person was intelligent and talented, yet struggled to connect with his direct or indirect reports.
The root cause of the challenge was that he was neither frank nor diplomatic in his communication. He avoided communication with people to focus more on the things that he enjoyed – similar to when he was an individual contributor.
As an individual contributor, that worked well because he always finished projects with impeccable detail and never missed a deadline. As is familiar with many promotions, he ended up being promoted into a managerial position based on his success as an individual contributor.
Then the reality set in that there are different tools that people need to have in their toolbox to succeed as a leader. Leading yourself is different than having the responsibility of leading other people.
SO…
This talented young manager lacked the leadership development he needed to communicate openly with his team. It took defining what we call a “balanced deficiency” with his communication in order to engage in targeted coaching.
In his coaching we helped him utilize some clear strategies that ended up, not only improving his communication and team success, but also helping him to actually ENJOY communication.
Here are some of the strategies, which he later embraced:
♦ Start with Scheduled Communication to Build a “Cadence”
Set up brief, recurring one-to-one meetings or “team huddles” (even 15 minutes weekly). This minimizes avoidance and creates a rhythm because it becomes part of a normal schedule. Over time, it builds psychological safety and normalizes interaction.
♦ Reframe Communication as A Part of Leadership, Not Wasted Chatter
Some avoidant managers think “I don’t have time for ‘chatting’ at work” or “these people are adults, so I don’t need to ‘babysit’ them." Reframe this thinking into a belief system something like: communication is not “extra”, it is “the job”. When he understood and accepted that he was not just giving updates or wasting time with communication, he had an “epiphany” that as a leader, you have to set the tone and direction for your team, which helps to build and earn trust.
♦ Prioritize Empathetic Listening Over Talking
Communication doesn’t mean delivering a one-way monologue while people sit glassy-eyed and unengaged. When he started using some simple open-ended questions, he realized it was easier to engage with people without feeling the burden of having to “perform” for people.
Relevant open-ended questions include…
“What’s working for you right now?”
“Where are you feeling stuck?” “How can I best support you?” What do you think could be improved with our processes?
He started to build positive relationships and earn trust almost immediately by using these kinds of open-ended questions.
♦ Prepare for Conversations and Practice
Role-play conversations with a peer, coach, or even an AI assistant. When he began to really prepare for dialogue like he prepared for projects, things started to be easier – for him AND for his team. Practice key messages out loud. Consider using a mirror to see your facial expressions and non-verbal cues as well. Familiarity and solid preparation tends to reduce anxiety and avoidance when it comes to communication. When you can be both frank and diplomatic with your communication, that allows you to become a true “forthright diplomat”. That way, it is possible to consistently earn trust, engage with the team, and improve productivity.
Missed the first publication of the two previous newsletters, no worries. Here's the link to Part I and Part II.
Want to learn more about the Harrison Assessment? Visit: https://www.situationaltraummunication.com/coaching
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Lead on and be well,
Ryan Gallik
~ Keynote + TEDx Speaker | Emergency Physician | CEO | Author ~ Real science. Real stories. Real results. Transforming chronic illness into metabolic mastery, and people into Powerhouse Leaders.
1moI loved the idea of “balanced deficiency”. I would even go as far as to say there’s nothing bounced about it… The inequality in skill sets requires balance. It is interesting though… Rather like trying to ride a bike when one leg is shorter than the other. It really doesn’t matter how strong the right side is, you’re never going to go as fast as you can if you can’t compensate for what’s going on with the shorter left leg
Developing the leaders your business depends on, before burnout, confusion, or attrition hit. Human-first coaching for emerging and mid-level managers stepping into more.
1moReally appreciate this clear distinction, Ryan: leading yourself vs leading others. Communication is the job, not a distraction from it. And building that cadence, even if it starts with structure, can shift everything; especially for technically brilliant leaders who’ve never been taught to enjoy it.