The Rug Is Real: What Are We Stepping Over?

We tend to focus on the big disruptions: new technology, shrinking budgets, changing markets. But in every organization I’ve ever worked with, the real obstacles aren’t the obvious crises. They’re the quiet, familiar things we step over every day.

Think about your own team. Is there a weekly meeting that no one finds valuable but everyone still attends? A process that hasn’t been updated in years because “that’s just how we do it”? A phrase—“we’re not ready,” “our members won’t go for that,” “we tried that once”— that gets repeated so often it has become gospel? These are the rugs we keep tripping over.

The Rug Metaphor

In my upcoming book, RUG: How To Move What You’re Tripping Over and Lead With HEART, the “rug” is our shorthand for those silent barriers: outdated systems, unspoken habits, and hidden assumptions that trip us up. They’re the things we’ve normalized so deeply that we no longer see them for what they are: obstacles that drain energy and stifle innovation.

You might ask, “If we’re stepping over these rugs every day, why don’t we just move them?” Because, more often than not, we don’t feel like we have the authority. Or we don’t think it’s worth raising the issue. Or we’ve convinced ourselves that discomfort is part of the job. Sometimes the rug is so woven into our identity that moving it feels like tearing out a piece of ourselves.

But here’s the truth: If you want to lead meaningful change—whether you’re a CEO or an intern—you can’t ignore the rugs. You have to name them. You have to challenge them. You have to be willing to pick them up, shake out the dust, and decide what to do next.

A Story from the Field

Years ago, I was working with an association that had been doing the same event planning process for decades. Every year, staff would spend months preparing for a weeklong annual meeting. It consumed budget and energy, and each iteration looked remarkably like the last. During our discovery conversations, one person hesitantly asked, “Why do we do it this way?” The room went silent. Eventually someone mumbled, “Because that’s how we’ve always done it.” When we dug deeper, we uncovered dozens of assumptions about what members expected and what leaders needed to see. None of them were questioned. Everyone knew the event was exhausting, but nobody felt they had the authority to change it. It was a classic rug: visible to everyone, discussed by no one.

That story is hardly unique. I’ve heard similar ones in nonprofits, corporations, and volunteer-led organizations. The specifics differ, but the pattern is the same: The rug becomes part of the floor. We adjust our stride instead of moving it.

The Rug Awareness Process

Identifying and moving these rugs doesn’t require a formal role or a grand strategic plan. It starts with a series of small, deliberate actions that anyone can take. Here’s a practical approach you can use today:

1. Notice Patterns: Over the next week, pay attention to moments when you or your team feel frustrated, drained, or stuck. Is there a task everyone avoids? A question no one wants to answer? Write these down. Don’t judge them yet—just notice them.

2. Ask Curious Questions: Once you’ve identified a pattern, ask why it exists. Use open-ended questions like, “What purpose does this serve?” or “When was the last time we revisited this?” or “What would happen if we stopped doing this?” The goal isn’t to assign blame but to surface assumptions.

3. Name the Rug: Give the pattern a name. It could be “The Monday Meeting,” “The End-of-Month Report,” or even “We’ve Always Done It This Way.” Naming it creates shared awareness. It turns an invisible habit into something tangible you can discuss.

4. Invite Collaboration: Share your observations with others. You don’t have to call a meeting; you can start in a one-on-one conversation or a Slack channel. Say, “I’ve noticed we spend hours preparing reports that no one reads. Is this serving us?” You might discover others feel the same way but were waiting for someone else to bring it up.

5. Experiment with Change: Moving a rug can be as simple as skipping a meeting to see what happens or adopting a new tool for a week. The key is to treat these changes as experiments rather than permanent decisions. If the rug turns out to be more important than you thought, you can always put it back. But more often than not, you’ll find that the floor feels much clearer without it.

Tangible Ways to Lead Without a Title

You don’t need a formal leadership role to use this process. In fact, some of the most powerful change agents I’ve seen are people who lead from the middle or even from the edges of an organization. Here are three practical ways you can lead by moving rugs:

• Be the Observer: In meetings, watch for signs of disengagement—people checking their phones, minimal participation, the same voices dominating. Then share your observation with curiosity. “I noticed we all seemed quiet during the discussion on X. Do we need a different format for that conversation?”

• Volunteer to Facilitate a Retrospective: After completing a project or event, invite the team to reflect on what worked and what didn’t. Use a simple framework like “Start, Stop, Continue” to collect feedback. This creates a safe space to name rugs and identify improvements.

• Lead by Example: If there’s a habit you can control—like sending long email chains or scheduling back-to-back meetings—change your behavior. Shorten your emails. Block buffer time. When people ask why, be honest: “I’m trying to move some rugs so we can all breathe easier.”

Reflection and Micro‑Move

Take 10 minutes today to walk through your week in your mind. Where did you feel friction? Who seemed disengaged? What processes felt repetitive or pointless? Write down three potential rugs and pick one to explore using the Rug Awareness Process. Your micro-move this week: Share your observation with one colleague and invite their perspective.