The Secret Sauce

I want to share a mind trick that I have used for years to keep me focused and positive. It's one that was given to me in an area of my life that is just as important to me as my business world.

Confession: I have early onset optimism. I admit it, I’m a chronic optimist.

Of course, there is darkness. Of course, there are moments of dark clouds. But having the ability to break through that darkness is a life skill. I learned this during my early days of sobriety, nearly 17 years ago. It starts with having gratitude. Being grateful for what is in front of you, and not continually striving for what is out of reach.  

Ambition and career are two things that I’m extremely passionate about. However, I'm not the type of person that needs to live in a massive 10-bedroom house. I don't need to drive an Aston Martin. Would I like to? Sure, I would. But I value the people that I work with, the people that I work for—I value relationships over things.

Start with Gratitude

I want to get into tips for starting your day with gratitude. It's really bizarre. I'm sure many of us wake up with some impending doom, a bad deal, or a bad relationship. There is always something that is on the table, and when your eyes open, you think, "Oh God, really? I've got to start my day with that?"

When I was new in sobriety (it doesn’t stop with sobriety—it’s about having a clean mind), I would begin my day by writing down 10 things that I was grateful for, and that would reset my mind.

Look at where we live. The majority of the people reading this probably live in the United States. There’s a win. We all woke up with a roof over our heads. We have kids, we have brothers and sisters, we have parents, we have friends. We are probably going to have breakfast today.

Is It Time for A Reset?

I know this seems ethereal, but I guarantee you, it’s worth it. I guarantee you. When I was a new agent, looking at my leads on sticky notes on boards, I’d feel very discouraged at what I saw. In that discouragement, I’d realize—it was time for a reset. I’d leave the room, have a cup of coffee, or even a cigarette (I smoked back then), and I would come back with an attitude adjustment. I’d look at the exact same wall and feel encouraged.

How did that transformation happen? I removed myself from the results. I removed myself from expectations. And I’d remember that my hands aren’t the only ones on the wheel.

I am someone that does believe in Mother Universe. It's my job to turn up every day and work as hard as I possibly can, but the results are not really up to me. And I think as long as we can grasp that concept, that waiting for divine intervention doesn't mean kicking back on your sofa, watching Netflix, and smoking a doobie. It means that we work as hard as we possibly can. We go in one direction with patience and energy, and we stay out of expectations. I can still look at my glass and see it as half empty (I don’t, though). Every decision I make, I choose to look at that glass as half full. Or more.  

The Cornerstone of Success

This doesn't mean you are going to be skipping down the road with rainbows and puppies. We will have adversity, difficulties, and scary moments. It will be dark at moments. You’ll want to put your tail between your legs, and you’ll want to run. But understand this—adversity is the cornerstone of success. If it was easy, everyone would do it. It’s not easy to be successful in real estate. It takes hours upon hours of grind.

When I meet new agents as they come to PLG Estates, I share with them the reality of starting out in real estate. When they ask what the first year will be like, I make sure they understand something. The first year in real estate is like getting in the ring with Tyson. He’s going to beat the shit out of you for 12 rounds, and at the 12th round you might come up for a small gasp of air. And Tyson hits you one more time

It’s brutal, but is it rewarding? You bet.

When Cindy (my lovely wife) and I started working together, we worked non-stop. We never took a breath. We just went hard at it day after day (and we still do). Why do we do it? It isn't fear. It isn't a desire for a 10-bedroom house. It isn't a desire for an Aston Martin. It's because we love what we do. We love those we work with, and the most precious things to us are our children. We work to provide and while making sure our kids stay grounded.

This resonates with me because I feel full of gratitude to be a father and a son to my wonderful father and father-in-law. And on my deathbed, I’m going to want to look back at the time I spent with my kids, not the money I made.

Thankfully, I get to see my children all the time. I make sure that I have a schedule where I can have dinner with them seven days a week. They come with us on every vacation we take. Because these moments are the moments I want to wrap in diamond-encrusted gratitude. The gratitude I feel form being the father to my children is beyond anything I could have imagined.

Finally, when it comes to working, remaining in optimism is difficult. However, we have to keep grinding. If we're not on offense, we're on defense. If we're not acting, we’re reacting. Stay in gratitude. Each morning, write down 10 things that you feel grateful for. I guarantee you—it will make your day start a hell of a lot better. And when you feel a negative thought coming in your mind—push it out. Push it out, because negative thoughts are bullies. If you listen to them, they corner you.

Bad thoughts are bullies, remain in optimism, stay out of entitlement, and live in gratitude.