Self-Help with Curls: Life Hacks from a Ninety Year Old

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” ― Oscar Wilde

The Way Out is In - Living The Moment

As the holiday dust settles and we hurry back to the inevitable stresses of our professional lives, I would like to share a recent conversation I had over the holidays with Jean, my 90 year old next door neighbour. An ordinary interaction that left me with some worthy life lessons.

Jean lives happily by herself. She spends her summers enjoying the uncertain British sun (with sunglasses on) and sipping generous amounts of gin and tonic in her back garden. Winters are spent hibernating at home planning for next summer while laughing with visiting family and friends.

She doesn't let the all too familiar afflictions of old age overwhelm her. Her failed eyesight, busted knees and general age related difficulties are no match for her charm and zest for life.

Doesn't it make all of us wonder: Are we truly, consciously living in the moment?

I remember a spiritual guru who once said: When you let the mind take over, you live life by memory; using the past as a guide for the future while forgetting the present!

Bring It On - Self-Help With Curls

“The trouble is if you don’t spend your life yourself, other people spend it for you.” ― Peter Shaffer

It all started when Jean promptly snuck her customary Christmas card through our door. She showed her usual warmth in her greetings and included a 10 pound note for my son to buy a little something for himself. She was barely able to walk without support but her love and affection clearly outpaced all of us.

Later, I knocked on her door with a box of chocolates and mulled wine. To my surprise it was opened by a sprightly lady in her early 70s. Jean was sitting in the kitchen hallway with her hair in curlers, getting her hair done by her younger friend!

I asked politely: “Jean, what's with the new hairstyle? Are you headed out somewhere?”

Jean: “Not really. I just felt I should get these done. I want to look a bit different, bored of keeping them straight!”

She was doing what she wanted to do, on her own terms and without any objective. She was just being who she was. As they say in the life business, you take care of you!

It got me thinking - in our hyper competitive society, don’t we habitually ignore ourselves as we constantly run around to achieve?

Suspending Beliefs - Let Life Figure Us Out

“People tend to complicate their own lives, as if living weren't already complicated enough.” ― Carlos Ruiz Zafón

As our conversation progressed, she observed that I looked slightly preoccupied and asked if everything was okay.

I moaned: “Oh, it’s nothing Jean. I am just worried about my son and whether he will be able to cope in his new high achieving grammar school. I don’t want him feeling left behind in a highly competitive environment.”

Almost on cue, her friend smilingly reprimanded me. She went on to tell me her son went to the same school years ago. He struggled to achieve and eventually had to leave that school.

She reassured me: “Don’t worry! Your son will figure it out. Give him time and continue loving him. You would be surprised to know that my son eventually ended up as a very successful accountant advising multinational companies!”

I resisted: “I am not so sure. We sometimes worry how he will figure it out.”

Both the ladies echoed, almost in unison: “ Trust us, it will be all right. And in case you are wondering, we are still trying to figure life out!”

Key Learnings

“May you live every day of your life.” ― Jonathan Swift

We are all sometimes victims of our expectations. Whether it is about getting our children into that top ranked school or securing that elusive promotion or even that shiny new car. It’s almost fashionable to suffer now to be happy later!

Awareness is key to experiencing a fuller life and it is one conscious choice we all need to make. Here are some key life lessons I took away from that day:

• Life has a funny way of figuring us out. Spend time and energy on what truly matters. And let life do the rest.
• Accept, don't expect - don’t be harsh on yourself. Have faith.
• Be the best version of yourself. Love doesn’t come from someone else; it comes from you.
• Look for happiness in the ordinary. Happiness sometimes is in getting those curls done!

I am sure you have had everyday experiences that have inspired you; What have you learnt from them? Please feel free to add to the comments section and if you enjoyed this post, please like and share!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Some of my other articles have been featured on LinkedIn under Customer Experience, Leadership & Management, Career Development, Sales Strategies, Big Ideas & Innovation, What Inspires Me. Here are some quick links:

• Mind The Gap: A Powerful Lesson in Building Character
• Building great Customer Experiences: Be invested, Be Inspired, Be Personal
• Tips on leading a better Professional and Personal Life
• Improve Credibility, Increase Sales: Save Executive Meetings from going off-course
• What's Cooking: Life Inspirations from Cooking
• From Grit to Great: Lessons from the Sales front line
• Learning from nature: Adapting for personal growth
• Striking the Right Note: Inspirations from a children's music concert

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Abhishek is a Sales & Marketing leader based out of London. Until recently, he was a Vice President, EMEA at Persistent Systems and is now looking for his next adventure. He has previously led regional sales and business development teams at Wipro, Cognizant and Cisco and holds an MBA from INSEAD, France. He has lived, studied and worked in India, U.S., Singapore, France and U.K. He considers himself a passionate globalist and in his spare time, a free-range foodie and an aspiring author. All opinions are his own.