The Six Most Important Roles I Play as a Father

Fatherhood is the most demanding, humbling, and rewarding role I’ve ever been given, and that’s saying something, considering I’ve built businesses from the ground up, trained producers nationwide, and navigated some serious storms in both life and insurance.

But fatherhood, that’s the one that hits differently.

I’m a father of four. I’m a husband. I’m a business owner. I’m also a man who’s constantly pulled in a thousand directions. There’s always a meeting to take, a deadline to hit, a strategy to refine. But no matter how loud the outside noise gets, my compass points home.

And over time, through wins and misses, I’ve come to understand that the best version of myself as a dad doesn’t show up by accident. It’s intentional. And for me, it comes down to six roles I aim to play with consistency and purpose.

1. The Protector: Creating a Safe, Stable, and Loving Environment

Protection isn’t just about locking the doors at night or checking the weather forecast during hurricane season, though I do both religiously. It’s about creating an environment where my kids feel emotionally safe, physically secure, and unconditionally loved.

It’s also about anticipating risk, something I’m hardwired to do as a risk management consultant. But when it comes to my children, the stakes are higher than any policy. I don’t just protect them from harm, I protect their confidence, their sense of belonging, and their ability to be themselves without fear of judgment or rejection.

With Ethan, this role takes on another level. His unique needs mean we plan everything around his safety and comfort, whether we’re traveling, attending events, or just running errands. But the truth is, all of our children deserve that kind of intentional protection. Every child wants to know, “Am I safe here?” My job is to make sure the answer is always yes.

2. The Teacher: Sharing Lessons That Last Beyond Childhood

I’m a teacher, but not in the traditional sense. I’m not handing out worksheets or grading papers. I’m showing my kids how to live, how to think, and how to carry themselves in a world that often tries to define them before they know who they are.

And I do it through conversations, through questions, through everyday moments that become life lessons, on the baseball field, during the drive to school, or in a quiet moment after a bad day.

“The Carpool Closer” series with my son is a perfect example of this. He asks a question. I give a real answer. No fluff, no lectures, just two people learning together. That’s what teaching looks like in my house. It’s organic, constant, and grounded in love.

But it also means I have to check myself. Because the most powerful teaching I do isn’t what I say, it’s what I do. My kids learn more from watching me navigate life than they do from anything I could ever explain.

3. The Encourager: Speaking Life into My Kids’ Identity

This world will do everything it can to tear our kids down. It will tell them they aren’t enough, that they’re too different, too emotional, too loud, too quiet, too something.

My role is to be the voice that cuts through all of that noise.

I want my kids to know that they are deeply loved, uniquely gifted, and fully equipped to do hard things. I speak life into them, not just when they win, but especially when they lose. I praise the effort, not just the outcome. I remind them that their worth isn’t tied to trophies, grades, or likes on social media.

Each of my kids needs encouragement in a different way. One might need a pep talk before the big game. Another might just need me to listen without trying to fix anything. And Ethan, he teaches me what it means to persevere. Every milestone we celebrate with him, no matter how small it may seem to the outside world, is a victory worth cheering for.

Encouragement isn’t about being a hype man. It’s about being a steady presence. The one who says, “I see you. I believe in you. I’m here, no matter what.”

4. The Leader: Guiding with Character, Faith, and Integrity

There’s no leadership position in my life more important than the one I hold in my home. Being a leader here means I’m the thermostat, not the thermometer. I don’t just reflect the temperature, I set it.

Leadership, to me, means modeling character when it’s inconvenient. It means making the tough calls with integrity. It means showing my kids how faith isn’t just something we talk about on Sunday mornings, it’s the foundation we build on.

We pray together. We talk about what it means to forgive, to serve others, and to be grateful. I lead in my home the same way I lead in business, with values first.

But make no mistake, this isn’t a dictatorship. Leadership is about earning trust, not demanding obedience. I want my kids to follow my example not because they’re afraid to disappoint me, but because they know I love them enough to tell them the truth, even when it’s hard.

5. The Example: Showing Them How to Show Up in Life

If I had to pick just one role that threads through all the others, this would be it.

My kids will remember what I did far more than what I said. So I’m intentional about living the kind of life I’d want them to imitate.

That means showing up early and staying late. It means admitting when I’m wrong. It means treating people with respect, even when they don’t deserve it.

But more than anything, it means loving their mother well.

One of the most important things I can do as a father is model how a man should treat his wife. I want my sons to see what it looks like to cherish a woman. I want my daughter to know how she should expect to be loved, through actions, not just words.

When I kiss my wife in front of the kids, it’s not just affection, it’s affirmation. When I apologize after an argument, it shows humility. When I put her needs before my own, it demonstrates selflessness.

They’re watching. And I want what they see to shape their future relationships, their confidence, and their expectations.

6. The Memory-Maker: Building a Childhood They’ll Want to Revisit

Life moves fast. Work piles up. Schedules fill. But if I’m not careful, I’ll blink and realize I was too busy building a life to actually live it with the people who matter most.

That’s why being the memory-maker is a role I take seriously.

It doesn’t have to be extravagant. Yes, we’ve had some incredible moments, swimming with pigs in the Bahamas, exploring Key West, fishing off the coast of Panama, but it’s also the little things.

It’s “Opening Day is a holiday in our house” traditions. It’s showing up at school lunch with Chick-fil-A. It’s letting them pick the music in the car and singing way too loud with the windows down.

The goal isn’t to entertain them. It’s to connect with them. Because when they look back on their childhood, I don’t want them to just remember the rules or the routines. I want them to remember me, laughing, playing, being fully present in the moments that mattered most.

Memories are the glue that holds relationships together when life gets messy. They’re the stories we tell over and over again. And they remind our kids, “You were loved. You were seen. You mattered.”

Conclusion: A Legacy Built in the Day-to-Day

These six roles aren’t something I check off a list. They’re a lifestyle. They’re how I show up, even when I’m tired. Even when I fall short. Even when I don’t have all the answers.

Because at the end of the day, my greatest legacy won’t be the companies I built, the podcasts I hosted, or the stages I spoke from. It’ll be the story my children tell about who their dad was.

I want them to say:

• “He protected me.”

• “He taught me.”

• “He encouraged me.”

• “He led me.”

• “He showed me how to live.”

• “And he made life fun.”

I’m still learning. Still growing. Still asking God for grace every step of the way.

But if I can show up with consistency in these six roles, I’ll know I’ve done something that matters. And if you’re a dad reading this, know that you can too. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present.

“The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.” – Proverbs 20:7