Some Years Don’t Just Pass By — They Change You

Some Years Don’t Just Pass By — They Change You

Some years don’t just pass. They carve into you. Reshape you. Leave behind someone you don’t quite recognize.

These are the years that refuse to slip by unnoticed. They shake your foundation, stretch your capacity for pain, and demand that you reckon with what it means to be human.

If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve had them. The years of loss, heartbreak, illness, failure, or the quiet, relentless ache of uncertainty.

And this year? For many, it’s been one of those years. Heavy. Unforgiving. A time where the world feels unfamiliar, where even the strongest among us feel exhausted.

It’s tempting to believe we should just endure it. To wait it out. To hold on until things are better. But what if the purpose of these seasons isn’t just to be survived? What if pain isn’t something to escape— but something to carry forward in a way that makes us more whole, not less?

The Myth of Moving On

We love the idea of moving on. The world tells us to "let go," to "stay positive," to "focus on the future." But the truth?

We don’t leave our hardest years behind us. They don’t dissolve with time. They stay—woven into us, reshaping how we see the world, how we see ourselves.

Pain changes us. Not just in the ways that hurt, but in the ways that deepen our understanding, expand our capacity for connection, teach us things about life and about ourselves that ease cannot.

We were never meant to erase our hardest moments. We were meant to integrate them.

Thriving in the Midst of Struggle

If thriving isn’t about escaping difficulty, then what is it?

It’s about presence. About standing still in discomfort, without rushing to fix it. About allowing contradiction to exist— without demanding resolution.

It’s about accepting that pain is not weakness, that grief is not a sign of failure, that struggle is not something to be ashamed of.

So what does that actually look like?

1. Embracing the Full Spectrum of Emotion

We live in a world that worships happiness and treats sadness like a problem to be solved. But every emotion has a place.

Joy and grief. Hope and despair. Love and loss.

They coexist.

Denying pain doesn’t make it disappear. It only buries it deeper. Thriving means allowing yourself to feel it all— without shame, without apology.

2. Finding Meaning in the Mess

Not every painful moment has a silver lining. Not every heartbreak leads to a profound lesson. Sometimes, suffering is just suffering.

But even in the mess, there is something. A shift in perspective. A deeper resilience. A softening in places you didn’t realize had hardened.

Meaning doesn’t always come from pain. Sometimes, meaning comes from what pain opens up in us.

3. Letting Others In

Pain isolates. It tells us no one will understand. That we are alone in our suffering.

But the truth?

We were never meant to carry this alone.

Let someone sit beside you. Even if they don’t have the right words. Even if they don’t have answers.

Let them stay.

Connection won’t erase the weight you’re carrying, but it will make it bearable.

4. Redefining Growth

Growth isn’t always about moving forward. Sometimes, it’s about standing still. Sometimes, it’s about breaking before rebuilding. And sometimes, growth looks like simply surviving another day.

Healing isn’t linear. There is no race to be “okay.” And there is no shame in the days where all you can do is exist.

A Different Kind of Success

Here, success is measured in milestones. In promotions, achievements, forward motion.

But what if success is also surviving the years that don’t just pass? What if success is showing up, even when everything in you wants to disappear? What if it’s choosing to stay, to feel, to live— even when life feels unbearable?

Some years don’t just pass. They carve into you, reshape you, make you question everything.

But one day, you will look back—not as someone who simply survived, but as someone who was brave enough to live through it.

And that will be enough.