Spring Is Around The Corner And I'm Hibernating In Joy

Hey Folks!

How are you this week? 

Spring is poking it’s head around the door and I have to say I’ve really been enjoying the glimmers that come with a bit of sunshine and longer light brings.

I took a week out of the newsletter, unplanned, as I’d only half finished the email and I was away for the weekend for Ruby’s birthday - I decided to just roll with it.

I’ve been slowly working on integrating slower periods of time and increasing my window of tolerance towards rest and it’s paying off - it’s getting easier.

It got me wondering just how many other people find rest in all it’s forms quite tricky to do.

I wonder because outside of the typical realms of what we think of as trauma, everyone has been experiencing a level of trauma with all the chaos the world has served up over the past few years to the collective.

Also, I’ve had more unsubscribes on my posts to do with rest more than any other topic - which makes me wonder, is it just a coincidence, or is it an uncomfortable subject?

Being busy is a flight response, something to help you feel safe - but in the long term, in short - it sucks.

From my end - yes, it’s an uncomfortable subject and it’s been an uncomfortable practice - but as no stranger to the joys of a challenge crossed with my beloved habit stacking - it’s been something I’ve finally been keen to, ironically, set on mastering.

True to form, it took getting a bit of a chest infection to truly take resting to another level - I am human, after all; and old habits die hard.

Sometimes, if symptoms are low-level nagging rather than a blaring siren of discomfort - I just soldier on (not ideal). However, this in part was because I was trying to work out if the mild discomfort was from my chest or my upper stomach as I continued to navigate the changes I’d been making to my diet, as I make myself comfortable in the realms of gluten free; low FODMAP living (which is going ace, by the way - a long, imperfect journey I’ve been slowly making my way to).

When I went away to stay with my sister for a few days, my body started to relax - a lot; and it became clear it was my chest.

I was a bit sore, definitely tired and my body as a whole was pretty bloated and inflamed.

I’ve really loved observing myself in this period of time, as someone who is so routine-dominant, I can fall prey to the idea that I need to do certain things in order to feel balanced and some of the things I do; whilst beneficial; do and can have lower-energy-output alternatives.

It’s been all about recognising where limiting beliefs around things having to be hard and having no time are and then realising how it’s more just low tolerance towards space, time and ease - something quite common when having grown up in chaos.

If you’re an anxious person you likely feel calm and at ease in chaos and uncertainty - even if it’s uncomfortable - yet that means that calm and ease; stability and predicability can feel excruciatingly uncomfortable.

Have you ever noticed yourself having a really great, day, week or month; then chaos strikes and you revert back to anxious thinking? 

That is because that is where you feel most at home.

When you recognise those patterns and instances and can them with curiousity instead of judgement and criticism - then you have the capacity to be able to explore ways of increaing your tolerance to joy and peace.

I highly recommend reading The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks (Amazon Affiliate Link)).

Anyhoo,

That is where I’m at right now.

I’ve pretty much stripped my life and routine back to it’s foundations; decluttered it, if you like; so I can rebuild in such a way I’m not matching the overwhelm of multiple moves - because I don’t need to be there anymore and if I want to create more love, joy and abundance in my life - I need to be able to let myself feel safe in accessing those feelings.

How am I doing that?

By increasing my body’s capacity to feel safe.

Allowing my body to feel rested, replenished and actually feel what is going on.

I didn’t do any exercise other than walking and gentle stretching for 3 weeks; no cold immersions; no taxing my brain with over-learning or forcing myself to show up on social media - just more being.

It’s not been infallible.

My sleep sucked for a part; relentlessly; because sleep is a part of my upper limit problem - so I set to work on resetting my circadian rhythm - and I’m just about back online with it.

What started out at the beginning of the year as a set of performance goals has now taken a much softer swing, and I like it.

I’m rebuilding my foundations; my habits; my safety and redressing any physical imbalances and it feels oh so powerful.

Upon reflection, how have your goals changed since the start of the year? And how can you bring in an element of being more gentle with yourself as you make any changes?

Have a great week!

Amanda Jayne