Still Building - Issue #3 - How I Rebuilt My Product Intuition After Failure

Still Building - Issue #3 - How I Rebuilt My Product Intuition After Failure

(And what I do differently now as a second-time founder)

My first startup failed quietly. No big dramatic ending. No media post-mortem. Just silence. A slow, internal unraveling that most people didn't see.

The app had 90 downloads. Most of those people never came back. And the part I hate admitting? I wasn't even surprised. To be honest, now when I talk about my startup, I add: "What was I thinking?" at the end of the sentence because it is obvious for me me that it wasn't a good idea and I know exactly why it failed.

Because even while I was building it, something felt off. And I ignored it.

I've learned something since then, something you don't read in startup books:

You can't build a product you believe in if you've stopped trusting yourself.

That's what happened to me. Somewhere between the pitch decks and investor meetings, I lost my own voice. I started designing for optics, for approval, for speed — not for resonance. Not for impact. Not for actual users.

Product intuition? Gone. Buried under "best practices," FOMO, and other people's opinions. I was like a flag on the wind, flowing in every possible direction and according to opinion of somebody else. I wrote about it in my blog post entitled It's Been a Year Since I Closed My First Startup: Here's What I Learned from My First Mistake. I wrote extensively about how I felt and what I've done in my first venture.

It was me. Just like in that Taylor Swift song I have to admit that I am the Anti-hero. The version of me that used to feel sure, creative, quietly powerful disappeared as I was working more on that venture.

And the hardest part to face wasn't the download count or the funding fallout. It was realizing I had to rebuild more than just a company.

I had to rebuild trust in my own mind. My process. My ability to sense when something felt true.

The Silent Epidemic Among Founders

This experience isn't unique. According to a First Round Capital survey, 97% of founders report experiencing significant self-doubt during their startup journey. What's rarely discussed is how this self-doubt directly impacts product decisions and ultimately, business outcomes.

As Y Combinator partner Michael Seibel notes, "The best startup ideas come from founders solving their own problems." But when founders lose connection with themselves, they often lose sight of the problems they're truly passionate about solving.

Rebuilding my product intuition wasn't fast.

It looked nothing like hustle. Here's what it actually looked like:

🧠 1. I stopped listening to experts and started listening to users

I used to ask advisors, mentors, and founders: "Does this sound like a good idea?" Wrong question.

Now I ask: "What's something you wish existed at your lowest moment?" "What do you Google when you feel alone?"

The difference is everything.

I stopped trying to sound smart, and I started listening. Letting their words shape the flow, the tone, the product. Because intuition doesn't come from a whiteboard. It comes from empathy.

This approach is supported by research from The Lean Startup methodology, which emphasizes getting out of the building and talking directly to customers. As Jake Knapp's Sprint process demonstrates, the most successful product decisions emerge from deep user empathy, not theoretical expertise.

🧘‍♀️ 2. I created quiet. And I protected it.

I didn't start another company right away. I didn't throw myself into consulting or courses or self-help.

I slowed down. On purpose.

I went for walks without podcasts. I journaled every morning, not to plan, but to listen. I reconnected with rituals that made me feel like myself again.

And slowly, I could hear my own thoughts again. Not the loud ones. The deep, steady ones. One day I was thinking about my experience with online dating and somehow some internal voice said to me: how about creating a self-dating app.

This intentional pause aligns with what Cal Newport calls "deep work" – the ability to focus without distraction on cognitively demanding tasks. For founders, this includes the critical task of reconnecting with their authentic vision.

🛠 3. I started testing small and letting go fast

With my first startup, I'd fall in love with ideas before validating them. I'd spend weeks building, designing, polishing - for something no one asked for.

If I am to be brutally honest with myself (and usually I am) I would also admit that I wasn't sorrounded by the right people. I mean people who would tell me: Look, it isn't right. Here is something you should consider. Instead, I had people who either didn't say anything or they were giving me those unnecessary compliments, things like: you are a genius.

Now I use no-code to test fast. Not to build faster — but to fail faster. I don't commit to a roadmap unless I've earned it. If the idea doesn't land emotionally, it doesn't stay. And I talk to people that were in my shoes previously. I ask them what would you do if you were in my position. I also make sure that those people are super honest with me.

This approach echoes the concept of "minimum viable product" but with an important distinction: I'm testing for emotional resonance, not just functionality. As April Dunford explains in "Obviously Awesome", the best products don't just solve problems – they connect emotionally.

🤖 4. I use AI to get out of my own way

I don't use ChatGPT to write for me. I use it to reflect me back at myself.

I prompt it like this: "What assumption am I making here?" "Rewrite this in the user's voice." "What pain points show up in these 10 interviews?"

It's not about answers. It's about getting clarity. Because emotional clutter kills product intuition.

Research from the Stanford Human-Centered AI Institute suggests that AI tools can serve as effective mirrors for human thought processes, helping to identify biases and blind spots we might miss on our own.

🔍 5. I practice radical honesty about metrics

A new practice I've adopted is what I call "metric truth-telling." Instead of vanity metrics that made my startup look good externally, I now track indicators of genuine connection:

  • Time spent in reflective features

  • Emotional feedback (qualitative responses about how the app makes users feel)

  • Return rate during vulnerable moments (do people come back when they're struggling?)

As Bernadette Jiwa argues in "Meaningful", the most successful products measure what matters to the customer's actual experience, not just what looks impressive in investor decks.

And here's the biggest shift:

I no longer build to be right. I build to be real.

That means:

  • Sitting with doubt

  • Being wrong and adjusting

  • Listening to the user over my ego

  • Designing flows that feel like conversation, not conversion

Product intuition isn't magic.

It's clarity plus compassion. It's having the courage to build something that actually helps, not just something that impresses.

That's what I'm doing now with Heart Renew. Not a self-love buzzword. A self-dating app built for emotional connection. For moments when someone feels alone, and needs something real to anchor them.

It's not flashy. But it's honest. And that's what makes it powerful.

If you've ever lost your gut and found it again, I'd love to hear how.

We're still building. But this time, with our whole selves.

– Joanna

📩 Want to join the early access list for Heart Renew? Join our waitlist

📬 Or forward this to someone building quietly with more heart this time.

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