Stillness

Sometimes in life, we are faced with challenges that completely throw us off our planned trajectory. These moments can feel disorienting, overwhelming, and at times, insurmountable. In such situations, we have a choice: we can sit and wallow in our circumstances, or we can take the time to reflect, assess, process, and ultimately find a place of stillness. If we are lucky, as I was, we recognise the importance of that stillness—a space where clarity emerges, where the noise subsides, and where we can begin to rebuild.

Turning 50 a few years ago came with its own existential challenges—ones I had not fully anticipated. Aging brings with it a host of reflections: Am I where I thought I would be? Have I achieved enough? What does the future hold? These questions, while deeply personal, often intersect with the broader challenges life throws our way. Though turning 50 is an entirely different topic, the feelings of uncertainty and introspection it triggered led me down the same road as the challenges that followed. However, I have also come to realise that turning 50 has been a gift—it has allowed me to step into the most authentic time of my life. No longer burdened by the need to conform or please others, I now embrace my true self with confidence and clarity.

Stillness, I have come to realise, is not about inactivity. It is about creating the mental and emotional space to gain perspective, to plan again, or in my case, to start anew. My personal life underwent a dramatic transformation, and my business life presented hurdles I never saw coming. Working in the business of people, you’d think I would have learned long ago that people are unpredictable. They change their minds, their circumstances shift, and sometimes, despite the best intentions, they move in directions we never expected. This unpredictability, while a fundamental part of human nature, was a hard pill to swallow when it affected my own life and career so profoundly.

Looking back, I also recognise that some of the difficulties I faced stemmed from poor decisions I made to please others. I spent years prioritising what I thought was expected of me over what I truly wanted. Whether in relationships, business, or even day-to-day interactions, I often compromised my own needs to avoid conflict or to maintain harmony. In hindsight, I see how damaging that was—not only did it erode my confidence, but it also left me feeling disconnected from my own aspirations. Learning to set boundaries and make choices based on my own values has been a crucial part of my journey toward self-growth and stillness.

Over the past year, I have found solace and inspiration in the stories of others. Podcasts, books, and personal narratives have been a great source of comfort. There is something incredibly powerful about hearing someone else articulate thoughts and emotions you assumed were yours alone. It is a reminder that no one is immune to hardship, that we are all navigating our own journeys filled with triumphs and struggles. The courage of those who share their experiences publicly—to risk judgment, to face scrutiny—has reinforced for me the value of storytelling. Without these shared experiences, we remain isolated in our struggles, believing we are alone in our doubts, fears, and inner turmoil.

I used to post on LinkedIn and social media with confidence, sharing insights and perspectives without a second thought (especially the good news). Then, somewhere along the way, my confidence wavered. Self-doubt crept in, and I began questioning whether my voice mattered. It’s a strange paradox—when we feel the most uncertain, that is often when our voices are needed the most. Social media, for all its flaws, has the potential to be a place of connection, a space where we find and foster community through honesty and vulnerability.

Rebuilding confidence takes time, and for me, it has meant returning to who I am and what I believe in. It has meant embracing stillness not as an end point but as a foundation for growth. It has meant recognising that life’s unpredictability, while unsettling, is also what makes it rich and full of possibility.

So, as I move forward, I choose to embrace the unpredictability, to continue learning from the experiences of others, and to find the courage to share my own journey. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in this past year, it’s that none of us are truly alone—we just need to be willing to listen, to speak, and to connect.

For the kind souls who have reached out to me in my stillness, thank you for your patience.

McKenna & Associates returned as the Whiskey Bar sponsor at the annual Women Lawyers of WA Honours Gala dinner last Friday night and it was wonderful to connect with so many friends.