The Story You Tell Yourself is the One That Everyone Else Hears

You know that voice in your head? The one narrating your day, evaluating your choices, and predicting your future?

It's louder than you think.

Not literally (that would be concerning), but it broadcasts through every interaction you have. Your internal narrative doesn't stay internal; it leaks out through your word choices, your body language, the opportunities you pursue, and the ones you don't.

Language matters. Especially the language no one else can hear.

What Do I Tell Myself?

I've been building my advisory and coaching business for 13 years now. Some months, my calendar looks insane with back-to-back client sessions. Other months? Let's just say I have plenty of time to ruminate about my lack of meetings.

During those quieter periods, I used to spiral into thoughts like "Maybe I'm not cut out for this" or "The market's too saturated." Guess what happened? My networking conversations became apologetic. My proposals lacked conviction. My follow-ups were slow and uninspired.

But when I consciously shifted my internal story and I started asking myself better questions, the world looked brighter:

• Who am I? An experienced advisor who helps leaders navigate complex challenges
• What am I exceptional at? Seeing patterns others miss and translating them into action
• What experiences prove this? Specific client wins, not vague generalizations
• What do I NOT want to say? Anything that undermines my expertise or sounds desperate

The shift wasn't instantly effective. But when I believed my new story, it showed up everywhere. In my posture during video calls, in the confidence of my pricing, and in the clients who suddenly seemed to find me.

Change Your Story, Change Your Outcome

Ready to rewrite your narrative? Here are 5 steps you can take today:

1. Audit Your Current Story 📝 Set a timer for 10 minutes. Write down everything you tell yourself about your career, capabilities, and future. Don't edit, just let it flow. Better yet, record yourself talking about your professional life. The phrases you repeat? Those are your current story's greatest hits (or misses).

2. Design Your New Story ✨ What story would the most successful version of you can tell? I don’t mean a fantasy story but one grounded in reality with an optimistic point-of-view. Write it in present tense: "I excel at..." not "I want to excel at..." Include specific evidence. Instead of "I'm good with people," try "I build trust quickly, and three of my last five projects came from client referrals."

3. Rehearse Until It's Real 🎭 Your brain doesn't know the difference between practice and “the real deal.” Start each day by reading your new story out loud. Yes, out loud. Feel ridiculous? Good! That means you're doing it right. Say it before important calls. Text it to yourself. Write it in permanent marker, all in caps, and tape it to your monitor.

4. Track the Evidence 📊 Keep a "Proof Points" document. Every time something happens that supports your new narrative, a compliment, a small win, a breakthrough, document it. Our brain loves to discount positive evidence and amplify negative. Don't let it.

5. Find Your Trusted Advisors 🤝 Share your intended story with 2-3 trusted colleagues or mentors. You’re not seeking validation, but accountability. Ask them to call you out when your actions don't match your narrative. Sometimes others can see our story more clearly than we can.

So…

If you can't articulate what success looks like for you, if you don't have the language to describe where you're headed, you're essentially asking the universe to chart your path.

Your internal monologue isn't just background noise. It's the roadmap for your professional life. Every conversation you have, every opportunity you pursue or avoid, every risk you take or don't are all influenced by the story you've been telling yourself.

So what's it going to be? The old, tired story you've been playing for years? Or time to write a new narrative?

The pen is in your hand. Your future awaits.

#Leadership #PersonalBranding #ProfessionalDevelopment #Mindset #CareerGrowth #Coaching #SelfTalk