STUPID!

The Part I’m Most Afraid You’ll See

I had my first “shadow” session with my peer coach, Yankel Meislin . We explored a part of me I’ve spent most of my life hiding, the belief that I am… stupid.

A few days later, in session with branding expert Yankie Shpigelman , we discussed the kinds of content I see on LinkedIn. And once again, that old wound got poked.

“Some posts get under my skin, I’ll see a posts with a vague, clickbaity questions, or some oversimplified comparison” the more I share with him the more I feel my whole body react. My blood boils.

“What are you even saying?

Why are you putting this out there like it means something?”

I get frustrated, really frustrated. But all of a sudden I paused, I slowed down just enough to notice what was beneath the reaction:

I’m not just judging them.

I’m protecting myself from being judged in the very same way I was judging them!

That word - stupid - (gosh! it’s still hard to say) has lived inside me for a long time.

It started young. Maybe 6. Back when I first formed the belief, I didn’t “get it” the way others did, it seemed I was missing something basic. That I had to work harder just to keep up, ultimately I had to earn what it seemed came natural to others.

So I made an unconscious quiet vow:

I will never let anyone think I’m stupid. Because stupid means alone.

And to uphold that vow, I had to polish, proof, and pack depth into every word, but more than anything, I kept quiet.

If I couldn’t control how it landed, I kept it inside.

But here's the trap:

When I see others posting freely, unfiltered, messy, half-baked, something in me tightens.

But deep inside I want THAT freedom, and I’ve never let myself have it.

That’s what Yankel helped me see.

He asked me to say the words out loud: “I am stupid.”

My system shut down.

My body left the room. Everything just went blank.

Because in my nervous system, “stupid” doesn’t mean silly.

It means alone.

Alone and no one will notice my loneliness.

But then Yankel asked me something that shifted everything:

What if being stupid wasn’t a threat… but a doorway?

What if the people I judged weren’t careless - but simply FREE?

What if their “imperfect” content wasn’t unworthy - it was ease and fun?

What if I could give without guarding or perfecting?

And what if the thing I’ve most feared being seen as - stupid - is the very part of me that holds the key to my greatest freedom?

That was the real turning point.

Because maybe I’m not here to impress.

Maybe I’m here to connect. With you!

To contribute.

To give.

Even if someone misunderstands or thinks less of me.

So this is me, stepping forward without having it all figured out.

If you’ve ever held back your gifts out of fear…

Or judged others while secretly longing for their freedom…

Then maybe this is for you too.

If you’ve ever swallowed your words, polished your soul down to something “presentable”, what would it look like to give just a little more freely today?

What if the very thing you’re most afraid they’ll see… is actually the part of you they’ll cherish the most.

Please consider, what part of you is quietly waiting to be seen?

Feel free to share, and if you’d like to explore receiving support around that, please send me a message.

With love

Moishe Dov