‘Success addicts’ choose being special over being happy
Success at work can stimulate a dopamine hit, the same way social media and alcohol can. “Though it isn’t a conventional medical addiction, for many people success has addictive properties,” the happiness expert Arthur C. Brooks wrote in 2020. “People sacrifice their links with others for their true love, success. They travel for business on anniversaries; they miss Little League games and recitals while working long hours.”
Such impulses are undoubtedly a symptom of America’s culture of overwork. Derek Thompson coined a phrase to explain that phenomenon. Workism is “the belief that work can provide everything we have historically expected from organized religion: community, meaning, self-actualization.” The trouble with relying on work alone for fulfillment is that it’s usually not enough—and that becomes especially clear when promotions don’t go your way, or when the missed moments outside of work start to stack up.
“Success in and of itself is not a bad thing, any more than wine is a bad thing,” Brooks explained. “But both become tyrannical when they are a substitute for—instead of a complement to—the relationships and love that should be at the center of our lives.”
Today’s newsletter brings you stories about finding the balance between work and life:
“‘Success Addicts’ Choose Being Special Over Being Happy,” by Arthur C. Brooks. The pursuit of achievement distracts from the deeply ordinary activities and relationships that make life meaningful. (From 2020)
“Why Americans Care About Work So Much,” by Derek Thompson. Workism is rooted in the belief that employment can provide everything we have historically expected from organized religion. (From 2023)
“Kids Don’t Need to Stay ‘On Track’ to Succeed,” by Madeline Levine. When parents portray success as a linear progression of SAT scores, acceptance to selective colleges, and high-powered internships, they set kids up for disappointment. (From 2022)
“Only Your Boss Can Cure Your Burnout,” by Olga Khazan. People refer to various forms of malaise as “burnout,” but it’s technically a work problem. And only your employer can solve it. (From 2021)
“What Is Life Like When We Subtract Work From It?” by Joe Pinsker. Sabbaticals can give people an invaluable opportunity to rest and reflect on their identity beyond their job. (From 2022)
Software Engineer at NAVAIR
4dI live by the mantra that I work to live not live to work. That's not to marginalize the work I do or the level of effort I put forward but its to say it doesn't define me, it's a component to be sure, but not the end all be all. I do see many people believe to them it is virtually everything.
Retired 5/16/25
2wHunter becomes the hunted https://t.me/leaklive/27010
Author The Perimeter Trilogy (2026) Perimeter, An Odyssey; My Magical Year; Travels in the Far North; Founder, Magical Year Retreats; More in Common Ventures and MIC Dinner Club; Performance and Longevity Consultant
2wWe've created a profoundly dysfunctional culture that mostly worships all the wrong things. From 30,000 feet it's astounding to witness.
--
2wApparently when asked at junior school what he wanted to be when he grew up John Lennon said happy. The teacher did not understand and pressed on about what he wanted to be but apparently he continued to say happy.
Founder, Family WellthCare™ Coaching | Strategic Family Systems Coach | Emotional Wealth Architect | Helping Families Build Resilience, Connection & Legacy
2wThis is such an important reminder. Success, like alcohol, can be seductive because it delivers short-term hits of validation while slowly pulling us away from what truly matters. I see it all the time: people sacrificing connection, presence, and meaning in pursuit of “enough,” only to find the finish line keeps moving. Work isn’t supposed to replace belonging. It’s meant to serve what we value, not become what we value. When success starts to feel tyrannical, it’s a signal, not a failure, to realign with what makes life worth living. 🙏