Surf Etiquette

This week, we’ve relocated to another small island off the coast of Sumatra – a full two days of travel from our previous location, including three flights, a 3.5 hour ferry, and a 2 hour car ride over bad roads (I love a good logistics challenge). But the destination is worth it – a beachfront villa, white sandy beaches, warm, clear blue water, and very few people.

The island we are on is known for its surfing, with at least twenty great surfing waves scattered around, including one right outside our villa. All week, I’ve been watching surfers as they line up to catch waves. Sometimes there can be as many as thirty out there, bobbing out beyond the surf, waiting for their moment. As a naturally rules-oriented person, the burning question on my mind has been: “What is the order out there? How do they decide who gets to go? Is there a surfers’ code?” (R, by contrast, is just mesmerised with the power of these waves and the beauty of the colour of the sea. I wish I could just see that beauty without wanting to know the rules for engaging with it!)

Then, this morning, I found this:

And the more I read it, the more I loved it. I thought – beyond surfer etiquette, much of this is just life etiquette. Be polite, say hello, and smile – it will bring a feeling of levity to everyone around you. Don’t drop-in on other surfers, i.e. be aware of your surroundings and considerate of other people. Communicate – a little communication goes a long way. Respect the break and beach, i.e. don’t pollute your environment. And apologise if you mess up – mistakes happen, just own them. What a great code for life.

At the end of the day, the surfers’ code is about how powerful kindness - towards others and towards the environment - can be in improving the surfing experience for everyone. I love this poem by Meister Eckhart (translated by Daniel Ladinsky) for reminding us of how powerful it can be to rain kindness on someone else. How can we support each other more in each catching our waves?

About Friday Pauses

We can all sense how a lack of presence in our daily life affects the quality of our relationships, our ability to form real connections – and yet we struggle to set aside distractions. In my Friday Pauses, I want to encourage us all to do just that – pause for a moment and feel what it’s like to be present by reading a poem.

If you’re new to Friday Pause, here’s what I suggest:

• Minimize or close other screens.

• Put your phone on silent.

• Close your eyes and take a full breath in…and out. Maybe count to four on the inhale and six on the exhale.

• Read the poem below – out loud, if you can. It will slow you down and help you feel the words more.

• Take another deep breath in…and out.

• Resume your day.