The surprising leadership lesson I learned from a fight over socks 🧦

Welcome to my summer edition of Between Deadlines and Dinner. Thoughtful, useful, and a little lighter to match the season.

It might help you the next time your team (or child) completely overreacts to something small.

🧦 Socks on the floor. Again.

That’s what kicked off the shouting match last week between two of my daughters. I stood in the hallway, trying to mediate, and suddenly thought:

"This is ridiculous." And then I caught myself.

They weren’t really fighting about socks. One felt like her space wasn’t respected.

The other felt blamed – again - for something everyone does.

• It was about being heard.
• Being seen.
• Being safe.

Sounds familiar?

Because at work, it’s rarely about the meeting, the tool, or the wording in the email. People want to be acknowledged. Included. Treated fairly. When they don’t, they’ll escalate the "socks."

💡 Leadership = Listening, even when it sounds petty

As a coach, I hear this a lot: "I don’t understand why my team member blew up at something so minor."

My take: It probably wasn’t minor to them.

You don’t have to agree with the reaction. But you can try this:

• 💎 Ask: “What else might be going on here?”
• 💎 Say: “Help me understand what’s frustrating you.”
• 💎 Pause. Don’t solve. Just be with them.

This works at the breakfast table, too, by the way.😉

🛠 Try this with your team this week: Pick one conversation where someone reacts strongly. Instead of jumping in, say: 👉 “Tell me more about what’s behind that.” And just listen.

Let me know what happens.

Warmly, Cornelia

P.S. Know someone who’s leading a team and raising humans? Forward it to them 💌