The Thoughts We Never Say Out Loud

"I do not know how to keep going, honestly. I do not see any hope.”

That comment hit me hard — not just because it’s honest, but because it’s familiar.

A few years ago, I was inches away from becoming a statistic. Every 40 seconds, a man dies by suicide.

And I nearly became one of them.

Last week I shared a photo on facebook to some groups that I am partof, it was of an empty toy box. On the side, I had written three words: “Lost to Suicide" and explained a little of more story, my suicidal thougts, my attempt.

The comments I got shook me.

Real comments. Real pain. Real men, speaking the thoughts they’ve never said out loud.

“I almost joined that statistic last year before filing for divorce…”

“I’ve attempted once. Depression has been severe lately. Suicidal thoughts daily.”

“The only solace I have lately is knowing the off switch is in my hands.”

“I regret not pulling the trigger.”

Let those words settle.

This is what so many men are living with — while smiling, working, parenting, pretending.

Why Don’t Men Talk?

Because when we do… We get silence. Or judgement. Or gaslighting, we've all heard examples of this happening and it only adds to the stigma that "men dont talk"

“I told my wife about childhood abuse… her first response was, ‘Did it even happen?’”

So we stay quiet. We suffer in silence. And some of us don’t make it out alive.

The Real Cost of Silence

It’s killing us. Not metaphorically. Literally.

"The issue is men are afraid to be vulnerable and talk about their problems or seek help. I've been there. I've felt alone and isolated with no other option. Suicide was on my mind."

"I regret not pulling the trigger."

We’ve normalised silence. We’ve mistaken “strength” for suffering alone. And the longer we keep pretending, the more men we lose.

We need to unlearn the lies we were taught about manhood and emotion. We need to normalise checking in, breaking down, asking for help, and reaching out.

We need spaces where men can talk, rage, cry, reflect, heal — without shame.

It was Easter weekend. Most people were thinking about family dinners and chocolate eggs. But someone else was planning how they were going to end their life.

A concerned family member reached out to me. They didn’t know what else to do. They just knew they might lose him.

Since that call, I’ve been speaking to that man every day. A few times a day. Checking in. Making plans. Holding space. Reminding him that he matters — even when he feels like he doesn’t.

He’s still here. And for now, that’s enough.

This is why I do what I do.

It’s not just coaching. It’s not just goal setting. It’s life-saving work. It’s showing up for men when the world tells them to shut up, toughen up, and get over it.

This is What My Coaching Looks Like

It’s not surface-level positivity. It’s deep, strategic, and personal.

We use:

Strategic Life Coaching – to find clarity, purpose, and vision again

CBT – to challenge the thoughts that are stealing your confidence

NLP – to break the old patterns keeping you stuck

Mentoring – because sometimes you don’t need a guru, just someone who gets it

Whether it’s 1:1 sessions, daily support like I’ve been giving this man, or helping you rebuild your identity from the ground up — this is coaching that meets you where you are.

I didn’t build The Resilient Man Programme to sound fancy. I built it because I was once the guy ready to give up. And now I’m the guy helping others hold on.

If you’re feeling it — the stress, the pressure, the darkness — Reach out. Message me. Book a call. Let’s have a conversation that might just save your life.

Because real resilience isn’t about never breaking. It’s about learning how to rebuild — stronger.

What Can You Do This Week?

Here’s your challenge:

Reach out to a mate and really ask how he’s doing — not just “you good?”

If you’ve been struggling, speak to someone. Friend. Coach. Therapist. Me. Start the conversation. Even if it’s messy. Even if you don’t have the words.

If this spoke to you — and you want a space to talk, grow, or just be heard — Book a free call with me. No pressure. Just real talk. Book here

— Matt