Three Years on the Road of Kindness — And the Happiness I Never Expected to Find

In leadership, in friendships, in everyday life—we all think we’re kind. But there’s a powerful difference between being kind when it’s convenient and living kindness as a daily, deliberate habit. For three years, I made kindness my default—at work, with strangers, in every interaction—and it transformed not just my relationships, but my health, my resilience, and my happiness.

This is the story of how it happened—and the science that explains why kindness changes everything.

I’ve always believed myself to be a kind person. My upbringing taught me to respect others, to help when I could, and to avoid causing unnecessary hurt. But somewhere along life’s busy road, kindness became something I did, not something I lived. It was there in moments, yes, but it often depended on my mood, my schedule, or how others behaved toward me.

Then, three years ago, a quiet question formed in my mind: What if kindness wasn’t just a reaction, but the way I moved through every moment of life?

So, I made a commitment—not just to be kind when it was easy, but to weave kindness into everything. My tone, my patience, my daily choices. Even when I was tired. Even when I felt unheard. Even when the world was sharp around the edges.

At first, it felt like conscious work, a discipline I had to remind myself of daily. But something fascinating began to happen: it started to change me.

The Science of Why Kindness Feels So Good

What I didn’t realize at the time was that neuroscience already had answers for what I was experiencing. Acts of kindness—big or small—trigger the release of a powerful trio of brain chemicals: dopamine (the reward chemical), oxytocin (the bonding hormone), and serotonin (which stabilizes mood). This “helper’s high” boosts our happiness in the moment and, with repetition, rewires our brains for greater empathy, resilience, and optimism.

Physiologically, kindness reduces cortisol (the stress hormone), lowers blood pressure, and even strengthens the immune system. Research from the University of Oxford has shown that small, consistent acts—like holding a door or offering a genuine compliment—can significantly increase well-being for both the giver and the receiver.

Kindness isn’t just emotional—it’s biochemical.

How My Life Changed

Knowing the science now, I can see why things began to feel different. As kindness became a habit, I noticed:

• I had more emotional energy. Difficult days no longer drained me as deeply.

• I reacted less and responded more. Kindness created space between impulse and action.

• I felt more connected. Even the smallest interactions became moments of genuine human connection.

Life still brought its challenges, but my inner world became calmer. I was no longer constantly reacting to what was around me—I was shaping my presence within it.

And here’s the most surprising part: I didn’t go into this journey looking for happiness. I went in seeking alignment between my values and my actions. But somewhere along the way, happiness found me.

The Truth I’ve Learned

Kindness isn’t weakness. It’s not blind optimism. And it certainly isn’t about ignoring your own needs. It’s about deciding, moment by moment, to be a source of light in a world that can be dim.

Three years on, I’ve found that kindness is less about what we give to others and more about who we become in the process. When kindness becomes a habit, happiness stops being something you chase—it becomes the ground you walk on every day.

And once you feel that kind of happiness, you’ll never want to walk any other path.

Note: This article represents my personal views and analysis. It is not affiliated with, nor does it reflect the opinions of, my employer or any organization I am associated with.

- KC